One Another

If you have read the archive posts on this blog, you know I have written extensively about Community. I love people and relationship is what drives me. I enjoy hanging out and being silly with friends, but I enjoy equally and if not more times of real sharing. So it is no wonder that when God lays out issues of community before me, it really gets my attention.

In our Sunday morning class we have reached the section of Renovation of the Heart where Dallas Willard talks about the social dimension of the self. Essentially, I think what he is saying and I agree with is that real Spiritual Transformation does not happen in isolation. We are formed more fully into the likeness of Christ when we are living in community with others. Confession, accountability, discernment, fellowship and sharing are vital elements to us being renovated.

I am in relationship with someone in our church who for the last 7 years has struggled to heal after divorce. She has spiraled down into such a bad place over the last two years that it will make your heart ache. We got to spend several hours this week drinking hot tea and sharing on my couch. In these settings I am usually a listener, but this night I chose to really share some of what God was laying on my heart about her situation. She was literally "gob smacked" because what I was saying to her was also what she was hearing from our Senior Minister. Now you may think there are limited words to be spoken in this settings. But God was calling both of us to talk to her about things other than her divorce and rather to focus on her spiritual life. She was amazed, I was amazed but God wasn't. Dan and I are not working in cahoots with her, God is using community to speak a word to a hurt heart and He is using community to help her discern it. Don't you love that.

And then yesterday was Senior Sunday. I cry as I see the pictures of the kids and hear the great things they have to say. I cry harder when I hear what the parents have to say to them. Altogether it is an emotionally exhausting day. But yesterday I was struck by the community experience. I love that we can flood the aisles and lay hands on the kids or the person in front of us who in turn lays hands on the one in front of them, and so forth. I love that at this church it really is true that it takes a village. One senior mentioned a thanks to her second parents and then named about 6 families who are actively involved in her life and have in some way raised her. Inspiring. Last night at the Senior Banquet we were invited to sit at the table of one of the girls graduating because we are close to her family. We shared and laughed and cried. And we ate off special plates. You see this family has a tradition, the oldest daughter painted a set of plates, one for every family member and set her table with those several years back at Senior Banquet. The younger sister set her table with those also and added a few more. One for her best friend and some for us, the Kasselmans. And in doing so, she spoke words of community, family, love and creativity.

I believe completely that when we are less concerned about boundaries and more concerned about living fully in relationship with others, we allow God to transform us in ways that can not be done in other settings.

Things That (don't) Matter

Last night my heart broke as Phil Stacy and Chris Richardson left American Idol. Once again, let me say...I know it is just a TV show - but these are real lives!! Even though the hype has been around the girls this season, I have loved the boys. Blake is still there and that is good. He did such an amazing job of his Bon Jovi song this past week. In fact, surprisingly they all did good with Bon Jovi music, which is not necessarily easy to sing.
But back to Phil and Chris. Chris seems like such a sweet, genuine guy who just happens to channel some Justin Timberlake...what's not to like? Phil has had this upbeat, grateful attitude the entire time which is so refreshing. He is a Dad of two little girls and just happens to have a shaven head (love that) and so once again...what's not to like?

And now to more pressing things like....NBA play off games. I do not get enough sleep during playoffs. My team, the Mavs are killing me. Killing me. They are so close to being taken out by the Golden State Warriors - yes, I know, WHO???? This is personal you see. After Finley and Nash were no longer MAVS, it was hard for me to be a fan. I am a "Nashite." I wondered off and flirted with the Suns, the Heat (theme going) but, I have slowly returned to my first love only to be met with their sluggish, confident-less (I know thats not a word) attempt at round one of the playoffs. Come on guys!

The anti-blessing

I have not blogged much about 24 recently. Partly because it took 3/4 of the season to get really good and partly because my friend Greg is pushing me to think about pacifism and how that impacts our life.

However, after last night I just couldn't stand it anymore. Oh my gosh. Poor Jack. He has always been a broken character and that is what is so attractive about him really. But this season he seems to be even more vulnerable and broken. I have been so drawn in by the mess of his real life (as a TV character) and his emotional bankruptcy that I see him more as a person and not a CTU operative this year. Well, to crown it all - last night he has the ultimate "anti-blessing" spoken over him...."stay away from her Jack, because in some way or another, everything you touch eventually dies." Seriously - what worse thing could you say to a person. I wanted to reach out and just hold the man!!!!

I know - it is just a TV show, but those words were so piercing and hurtful that I can not shake it from my head. Dallas Willard talks about living life as a blessing in Renovation of the Heart. While I do not usually pronounce such open judgemental "anti-blessings" on people, I wonder how my thoughtless words or behaviors may crush people nevertheless. Hmm..

Fun Questions

My friend Amy had these on her blog the other day and it was fascinating seeing the responses. I know you have more pressing stuff to do with your time, but I would love to see your answers.

Here’s a few questions to get to know you even better:
1. What is your cell phone ringtone?
2. Favorite music genre?
3. Impulse item at checkout?
4. News source (tv, magazine, internet)?
5. Do you have any pets?
I’ll answer in the comments below.

Food Happiness in Amarillo, TX

Every now and again I am struck by the fact that I live in the Panhandle of Texas - not the oasis of civilization but a good place in its own right. And today while driving home from my favorite bakery the following food thoughts lingered in my mind, making Amarillo an even sweeter place to live.

1. I love Great Harvest Bread Company. Once you begin eating their bread, you just don't want anything else. It is a hefty investment per loaf, but every bite is so yummy!

2. Basil Docs Pizza is such a joy - sheer joy I tell you. The pizza is perfect. The crust has the right crunch-o-meter to bread texture level. The toppings are fresh and good for you. The combinations creative. The salad is sensational. Besides, I love the urban-loft feel of the place. The most interesting thing is who would expect to find such a treasure alongside Snowhite Bakery on Civic Circle?

3. Cafe Bella has such a tranquil and trendy interior. I love that it too is hidden behind a shopping center and when you discover it, you feel like yelling "Ahoy there, me hearties - I have found the loot." Okay, that may be too much, but it is a great find. The chicken avocado sandwich makes my tongue do little jigs.

4. OHMS makes one of the meanest Shepherds Pie's I have ever eaten. And now readers, I know my Shepherds Pie and trust me, this one is YUM-O!

5. Roosters Cafe can make a green salad with fruit and grilled chicken like no other. It is immersed in Vidalia Onion dressing which brings the entire combination together in perfect harmony.

6.Village Bakery, Franks French Bakery and Belmar Bakery each have little sweet treats to delight the tastebuds.

7.And now finally, the shrine of Pei Wei demands our attention. The lettuce wraps are so compelling that I find myself thinking of them randomly during the day. Talk about texture perfection - this is the pinnacle. Each bite has rhythm: the crunch, the crew, and a full burst of flavor...crunch, chew, aah, crunch, chew, aah....

8. Carolina's Woodfired Italian is such a treat also. The pasta and pizza is loaded with fresh veggies and awesome sauces. The Greek Salad is so refreshing and delicious that you feel like boarding a plane to Athens.

9. Then there are the "special occasion" places that are local and lovely - BL Bistro, Randys, Lincolns, Zen 721, Macaroni Joes - to name a few.

I know it is probably not completely normal to blog about food options, but who knows when one of you may need to travel to Amarillo and need food recommendations.

Happenings

1.We hosted a 24 year old Austrian girl on Wednesday night as she began a cross country road trip beginning in Lubbock and taking her more places than I can name, through July. She is friends with a friend of ours friend in Lubbock. Okay did you follow that...No real connection except Christ. She walks into our kitchen and gasps at a picture on our refrigerator. It is of some friends of ours who are missionaries in Croatia. She says in disbelief - you know Roger and Erin? Well there you have it folks...a German speaking Austrian girl who knows a friend of a friend in Lubbock spends the night with some South Africans living in Amarillo, Texas and they have friends in common who live outside of Zagreb, Croatia. Don't you LOVE that!!!!! Love it, love it, love it.

Here are some of the things I just adored about Kati , our new Austrian friend-
She talked with the assumption that we knew European geography well enough to understand the nuances of living in a country that has influences from Germany, Switzerland, Italy and Slovenia. Luckily in this situation we did have a healthy dose of Austrian knowledge because I have spent 10 days there, and South African schooling is heavy on European geography.

She apologized for struggling with her tenses in English - ahem - she was able to communicate beautifully in English, and did not ever expect us to bust out any German. It became apparent that she has some French and Italian skills also. Amazing!

She remains stunned that Americans approach Europe with the 11 countries in 9 days approach. "How can you spend a day in Paris, and think you saw it" she said. I explained to her about the 2 week vacation policy for most jobs in the US and how that motivates the quick vacation. She was stunned. We were too when we arrived here. It is not uncommon in Africa, Europe and Britain for people to receive 25 work days off a year. I love the idea of choosing one country and really experiencing it than trying to see it all and never know any of it.

And like us, she believes donuts, pancakes, waffles and cinnamon rolls are dessert not breakfast. She kept saying how hard it was to find things without sugar for breakfast. It cracked me up because I remember saying the very same thing 16 years ago. Unfortunately, now I count all the above mentioned delicacies as breakfast fare....

2. Michaela came off her skate board last night. She cut the inside of her lip. She scratched up her face. Her glasses were damaged enough that they needed a lens replacement this morning. I think her nose has a minor fracture. And all this while David is out of town. What is that about. When he leaves town, someone gets sick or injured. When I think about the times we have had strep, flu, bronchitus, sometimes all three, stomach bugs and other ailments the day he leaves it is unbelievable. Makes you wonder?

3.Sanjaya is finally gone from the Idol stage. He certainly seemed like a sweet guy who handled himself well amidst the media blast, but seriously people - he just can't sing!

Amazing Grace History/

This will give you chills. There is something to me about real life situational comedy. I am not a fan of the "sitcom" on TV, unless it really reflects the stuff that actually happens in our daily life. Likewise, contrived experiences that aim at producing emotions are very unattractive to me. But, this is the real thing. I felt my entire being respond to the music. Mercy.

What Does the Cross Mean To You

Jesus is risen, He is alive! Our Easter service today was focused on the theme, "What does the Cross Mean to you?" Not in the "everyone share pooled ignorance, small groupey kinda' way" but in the "look at how many layers, dimensions and facets the cross presents." The actual story of what happened in the death, burial and resurrection can be told fairly quickly with little nuance. But, the depth of meaning that lies at the foot of the cross will be explored forever more. As long as people experience redemption there is a story to tell. Four baptisms today mean that four new stories emerge right out of our church in one morning. And who knows how many other people dealt with God one on one during this time and began the rewriting of their story.

Steven did a fabulous job of highlighting some different facets of the cross today. He started several weeks ago by setting up a blog on our website for people to respond to the question. That began the process of hearing different voices from within our faith community. Today, those blog comments flashed across the screens. One could get a glimpse at how different people responded. Our time of worship was focused around four different people who gave their testimony and it was clear that the cross meant different things to these four people. Freedom. Comfort. Empowerment. Reassurance. He also had a couple of our artists display pieces they had created that reflected how they interpret the cross. He began the morning by reading a piece written by one of our key youth workers which in all honestly explained this person's hostility toward the cross as it seems like a burden of guilt that can never be repaid instead of a life-giving symbol of joy. I so appreciated the doubt and raw honesty being expressed in this writing and that it was shared in worship and not having it sugar coated or sanitized.
All the different elements were not simply for creative impact on Easter Sunday. It was so much more. A visual, tangible, experiential moment to see that the Cross stands in the middle of all our faith walks and the gospel meets us where we are and Jesus transforms us in the ways we need. Powerful.

SEXGOD

I pray this title does not get me spammed to death....

I realized this week while talking to some friends, that I am fairly undiscerning when it comes to Rob Bell. His preaching is riveting, his DVD's impactful and his writing is fabulous too. I can think of nothing better right now than combining a trip to see our friends in Traverse City and then needing to stop at Mars Hill outside of Detroit to hear Rob Bell. Maybe the travel fairies will make that possible soon!

I finished his latest book, sexgod this past week. It was a great read. I want to put it in the hand of every young adult I know. Some older one's too, actually. He does such a fantastic job of tracing the metaphor of marriage that God lays out in his descriptions of how he loves us and covenants with us. He gives such clarity to the idea of sexuality and the sacred.

One of the most insightful things is that he is not only speaking to marriage or sexual intimacy. He is challenging the reader to greater compassion, love, intimacy and respect in all relationships. I think one would be missing something huge if it does not impact how you see sex but it is about so much more than that.

Life giver

As I travel this road to being a more fully alive disciple of Jesus, I am struck by what it means to actually look and sound like Jesus. To be mistaken for him, in a sense.
You know the DVD called He's my King - the one with Pastor Lockridge listing the attributes of Christ, it always causes such a well of emotion in my heart and I want to jump up and applaud. Today I am convicted by on of those attributes - being a life giver. Jesus was a life giver - one who blessed life.
I heard Jarrod Robinson, who preaches at the Riverside cofc preach a sermon called, Lord of the Sabbath several months ago and some of these thoughts are still rambling around my head from that and some from the ongoing walk to Christlikeness.

In Mark 2 when Jesus deals with the Pharisees over his disciples picking grain and the healing of the man with the withered hand in Mark 3, he is the ultimate life giver. He reframes the purpose of law. Relationship always trumps regulation. Limitation is never the intent of law, freedom is. Law was never intended as life-draining but life giving. Because of how God values humanity he provides law as a way to honor our lives not punish us. I love the way he reaches back to their shared history and draws on the ultimate case study of David and his starving men eating the consecrated bread and it being okay. He has a tangible example to hold out to the pharisees to show that it is never about taking life, but always about giving life. Interesting that when the Pharisees leave his presence, the text says, "and they left to plot with the Herodians about a way to kill Him." Gods' desire is for us to be fully alive. He gives abundant life. When Jesus leaves people they have always had the touch of life given to them.

Jarrod made an interesting point in his sermon and I hope I am remembering this correctly. He said, God labelled the things that destroy life as sin, and the things that give life as commandments. What a powerful statement of truth. Think about it.

I know that I want to be a life-giver in the way I respond to people, in the way I serve them and the way I look at them. I want people to leave my presence having seen the intent and heart of God. I fear that too often as a vessel I land up diverting the life giving love that God intends to pour through me and the opportunity is lost.

Thank God that one of his other attributes is that He is a God of second chances!

Bubba Floyd and the Bible Building

Back in the day, make that 1992, two student workers were assigned the job of cleaning out a store room in the College of Biblical Studies Building at ACU. Being the responsible workers that they were (ahem) they did the job with great enthusiasm and finished it with pride. While sorting papers in the store room, they ran across a box of about 500 architectural sketches of the proposed Bible Building. These obviously were ready to be trashed because the building had been standing for 5 years or so at the time. The female worker assumed in good faith that the male worker would trash them as he promised. But alas, the male of the species decided they would make great gifts for said female student worker. So, with attention to detail and meticulous timing the male, lets call him Bubba Floyd, began giving them to her, lets call her Ahhlene. They arrived folded into origami shapes, as postcards, as greeting cards, as fans, as paper chains, as booklets, as jigsaw puzzles, as paper strips, as regular old pictures. Bubba Floyd went above and beyond and even mailed them to her while she went home to South Africa in the summers. She would go to check her Mother's mailbox and there they were in all their glory. They would appear in her in-tray at the office, as Christmas ornaments on her tree, as door hangers at her house. For years and years, they kept coming.....
Now lets fast-forward to 2006.....Ahhlene's husband returns from work one day with an envelope addressed to "The Babe Kasselman" (sent to the church, mind you) and the handwriting immediately strikes her. She knows beyond a shadow of a doubt what the envelope contains. And yes, one more picture for posterity. This week, it is rumored that Ahhlene turned 40 and low and behold she got mail! Her husband brings home an envelope addressed to her as Choir Director of the Central church of Christ. The handwriting makes her pulse quicken immediately, but the return address suggests it is from Brandon Scott Thomas. Hmm.... He apparantely was offering her the opportunity to preach at the next Zoe conference. Amazing. But she was hoping that it was actually from Bubba Floyd, and to her sheer joy when she opened it, the joy of heaven erupted and light shone down from above and there before her eyes lay a picture of the Bible building. Bubba chose to honor her 40th with one of the special pictures!

John Grant, dude...one day when you least expect it....

40!

This is the day!
Not surprising at all is the fact that my friends have come out of the woodwork to shower me with their jibes, jeers and insults. Some in person, some over lunch, some by email, some by e-card, yet others took the time to purchase a card & place a stamp on the envelope and mail their harassment (thank you Susan, Wendy and others). This is the ultimate payback time I guess - all the fun I have had at other's expense is coming back triple-fold - how biblical!

One of the funnier things that has happened this week is that I dreamed I had a perfect triangle of snow white hair in the back of my head. I did not know it was there, but everyone else did and had been chuckling about it for a year. I happened to make the dreaded discovery on my birthday and was so humiliated that no one had told me. Well, I shared this dream with some of my closest friends...why...why.....:-)

Actually I feel loved by my friends and family and look forward to a fun time this weekend to celebrate.

Update: My dear friend, Becky, let herself into my house today and scattered 40's, balloons and 2007 confetti in every conceivable place, plus some places you would never think of! I will remember all year that I am 40 because that is how long it is going to take me to uncover all those pesky little pieces. Love you Bek!

Favorite Things about Seattle

Being with the Johnson's. Not since College have we had that amount of extended time with Mike and Dena. It was awesome.

Seeing our kids all bond and not want to leave one another.

Yummy coffee shops everywhere.

The Glass Museum in Tacoma. The magnificent art of this designer glass was awe inspiring.

Having clear days while we were there.

Pike Place Market.

Let the Party Begin!

Well, it is only 9 days till the big birthday but the fun has begun! On our way back from Seattle we overnighted in Dallas with friends. They decided to do an early celebration of the big 40. I think part of the delight is that I am the baby of the group. What fun! Just to top it off, the birthday cake was my favorite "Tuxedo Cheesecake" from the Cheesecake Factory. Wow and Yum!

Messing with my Brain and Rocking my World

I am reading Shane Claiborne's book Irresistible Revolution. Suffice it to say, God is reaching into my heart and head and really defining a new way of living for me. It is terrifying and fabulous all at the same time.

This journey of discipleship that I am on along with my church family and specifically the ministry team here at Central has my world rocked already. Now layer this piece of revolutionary writing on top and I am in complete disequilibrium.

I have been most moved by the small section in this book called, The Theology of Enough. I do not consider myself too caught up in materialism or the trappings of stuff, although I have some pretty great stuff. But none the less this spoke so directly to me. I feel so convicted by the idea of enough. Perhaps because so much of my recent journey has been focused on contentment and these two ideas dovetail so beautifully.

Check out Ex. 16:16 & Deut. 15. Listen to what Shane says, "I am convinced that God did not mess up and make too many people and not enough stuff. Poverty was created not by God but you and me, because we have not learned to love our neighbors as ourselves. Gandhi put it well when he said, "There is enough for everyone's need, but there is not enough for everyone's greed." One of the first commands given to our biblical ancestors while they were stuck in the middle of the wilderness somewhere between Pharaoh's empire and the Promised Land was this "each one was to gather only as much as they needed". In the story of the exodus, God rains down manna from heaven and assures the Israelites that there will be enough. When they save some for the next day, God sends maggots to destroy their stockpile. Maybe we need some maggots today. God systematically interrupts the human systems that create poverty - releasing debt, setting slaves free, redistribution property. Folks always say the Israelites never fully lived out the Jubilee. But our friend Ched Myers says, "That's no excuse to ignore God's commands. That's like saying we don't need to worry about the Sermon on the Mount since Christians have never fully practiced it."

Consequently you can scap the post you read about me working at Coldwater Creek. After this book, prayer and the discernment of two special girl friends and David I resigned. I don't know how at this stage to take seriously the call of "enough" and yet work in a high priced clothing store perpetuating the idea that you need one more blouse to match that jacket.

There is so much more in this book. Each page is loaded with challenges about how to live as a disciple. God is still speaking. Hallelujah!

Fields of the Fatherless

Last night after dinner here at the Gages, my friend Carol picked me up and we went and had a coke at Sonic. We sat in the car and talked for 3 hours like high schoolers. It was an incredible time to catch up on our lives. Carol and her family came to us when we first arrived at the Riverside church and said, "We want to be those people that you can call anytime to watch Michaela." Michaela was only 8 months at the time and they meant what they said. We started working here in January 1997 and David's birthday rolled around on January 18 and they kept Michaela the first time. The relationship developed from then and as she states, "Michaela is half hers." After we left Riverside, we did not keep touch like we planned but such is life. Last night was a sweet time!!!

During the conversation, Carol mentioned the book Fields of the Fatherless and asked if I had read it. I had not, so she proceeded to give me a copy out of her trunk. She has a box of probably 50. Her life has been dedicated to social work with a special emphasis on Adoption and Grief therapy for children. She is a specialist at developmental psychology and other child focused disciplines. I got back to the Gages and we visited for a few more hours and then off to bed.

I just had to crack the cover of the book and begin reading. Once I started I could not put it down. I read about two thirds of the book and then made myself go to sleep. It is powerful. The basic premise is the idea of living within the will of God for us to live compassionately to the orphans, widows and aliens. It is the unfolding story of their adoptions but the big picture is applicable to many situations where "pure religion is serving the disenfranchised."

I have 4 more classroom hours this morning to finish up my class. Wish I had gone to bed a little earlier. But hey, sometimes sleep is over rated!

Pastoral Initiative

Yesterday in class we were talking about how to deal with people who are openly having a problem with you. Dr. Siburt was talking about the idea of "taking a step closer" to those people. Invite them to go to breakfast to do a perception check. Openly ask the question, "I am perceiving you are having a problem with me or somethings that I am doing. Is that true?" Try to move to storytelling during that time also. The goal is not to build affection, but trust.
He continued to say that we confirm people's worst fears or thoughts when we ignore them.

This is not new information - Matthew lays it out clearly for us. New or not, it felt very energizing to me to hear that again.

This is so counter intuitive that surely it is God-breathed. I pray that God equips me to use pastoral initiative in my relationships.

Dental Luxury

I'm sure you've heard the story of the 12 year old boy who died from an infection to his brain caused by a tooth abscess.
His mom has 3 jobs, all minimum wage without benefits.
Their medicaid has been reduced.
Very few dentists take medicaid patients anyway.
His Mom was trying to deal with his 10 year old brother who was struggling with 3 rotting teeth.
Without access to basic healthcare, this child is now a casualty of the system.
Can you imagine the pain of a Mom who is working her hardest, and still unable to meet the basic physical needs in her kids.

Today I thank God that I can take my children to the doctor and dentist when necessary. I even get to take them for preventative health care. I have a voice in the system. I have medical practitioners in my circle who will see me and treat me with dignity and respect. I am able to provide medicine, vitamins, chiropractic care when needed.

Today my heart aches for those who can't do the same. Is there a question that the system needs work? I have copied part of a post from Larry James about basic housing needs. Dental and Medical care is hardly on the radar screen when you are struggling to find a place to live.

"Fourteen million American households now spend more than 50% of their income to cover housing costs or they live in substandard housing conditions. For some households it is both.In 70% of the nation’s 200 largest metropolitan areas, middle class workers (nurses, teachers, janitors, retail clerks, firemen and police officers) don’t earn enough to qualify to purchase even a modest home.In Dallas, Texas, one of the nation’s wealthiest areas, only 42% of the households occupy homes that they own.Over the past ten years, the U. S. lost 2,000,000 affordable rental homes because of soaring markets, the decline of federal housing subsidies, owner divestment and age and deterioration.Hard fact of life in the USA: For every new affordable unit built, two are razed, abandoned or redeveloped as high cost rentals.The affordable housing crisis connects to a host of other urban challenges. Housing and community environment are crucial factors for success and vigor when it comes to public education, economic development, public safety, employment, transportation and health/wellness."

Working Girl

Okay, so I am a "let's go get coffee and lunch kinda' girl." However, I have entered the world of women who have sore feet at the end of the day!!! Before it sounds too dramatic, let me clarify. I am now working part-time at the new ColdWater Creek store here in Amarillo. It is fun. I am only doing 15 hours per week, and then I pick up some kids after school on Mon-Wed. I also still get to "on-call" for my friend at Edward Jones a couple of hours per month. All in all, the bottom line is that I will get to pay for braces for Michaela!

The Road Less Taken

I am pinching myself. Yesterday as I sat in church I kept thinking, "Thank you God for not letting me get my own way and leaving this church when I wanted to." I feel so blessed to be sitting hearing the kind of preaching that Dan is doing right now. The leadership has been struggling with what Discipleship looks like and how to change our church culture to enable us to be equippers & disciplers. None of the ministers are who they were a year ago. They together are journeying along this road that is shaping and forming them first. It is so awesome to now see these words begin to resonate with the congregation at large and to be in conversation with people who are being challenged to be more than a member. God is faithful to allow me to be a part of this and I do not take that privilege lightly.

Get on Central's website and listen to the sermons www.centralcofc.com. Keep checking back for more resources on the topic in the coming weeks.

Valentines

How sweet it is! Last night after coming home from an event at church called, An Evening of Chocolate, my Valentines celebration began. David had the bathroom set up like a spa. There were mango bath and body works candles everywhere, Lavendar aromatherapy oil in a steaming tub of water. A glass of sparkling grape juice, a box of chocolates, and Andrea Boccelli singing in the background. Wow! What he didn't know is that my surprise for him was coming this morning. I had arranged for him to only go into the office after lunch and we spent the morning together doing what Valentines should be doing and browsing through World Market, enjoying lunch together etc. A perfect celebration that did not cost a lot of money but was priceless!

Spencer was hilarious this morning. He had bought me a velvet rose (yes, you read that correctly) that plays "Fly Me to the Moon." Well, he comes walking into the kitchen, with the rose hidden behind his back, and then bursts into some dance moves reminiscent of Riverdance, choreographed to "Fly Me to the Moon" and then presents me with the "rose." It was hilarious, cute, and precious all in one. I wish we had it on video. Michaela made me a card with a list of characteristics in me that she loves, it is a treasure!!!! The card was accompanied by a perfect little heart box of chocolates. I am a spoiled girl!

Our Valentines family tradition is a Valentine hunt. I know other people hunt for Easter Eggs, we hunt for Valentines. I bought some clue cards for Valentines about 8 years ago at Hallmark, and Michaela made it a tradition the very next year and then introduced Spencer to it. So, they go around the house, following the clue cards and at each clue they get a little Valentines surprise and at the end is the bigger of the little valentine surprises. It is always fun.

You can certainly feel the love at the Kasselman's today.

This 'n That This Week

1.David comes home tonight from the XPastor conference in Dallas (translation: Executive Ministers all huddled in a hotel talking policy, staffing, lawsuits, administration, - I'm guessing the fun factor was pretty low :-)!!!! Actually, in his defense it was more about people than paper. Yeah, we are ready for him to be home.

2. Anna Nicole Smith died - how strange is that. Okay, I am not a fan but I hate to think of that new baby without a Mom and two possible Dad's, neither of which appear to be up for Parent of the Year award.

3. You know you have an incredible friend, when their sagely words to you are..."the problem is not in your heart, its your mouth." HA - I just can't stop smiling about that. It was great. What a great morning, thanks friend! In her defense, (and to keep my reputation) she was referring to my need to share my personal self discovery overanalyzations. It was not about gossip.

4. I am reading Steinke's book, Healthy Congregations. I love it. I am so convinced by systems theory and how very few conflicts in church are isolated but rather systemic. I guess at some level this makes me a nerd. Was there any question?

5. I joined a gym and have been working out fairly regularly. I'm actually enjoying it. I have started talking to a guy who is there everyday and usually wearing some kind of "G-Unit" t-shirt. Well, yesterday he wasn't and I commented on it. He almost fell over that I (40 year old Caucasian woman in Amarillo, TX) would know G-Unit. He gave me excessive details about how gross and sweaty they were and not yet laundered. Today he was back in uniform and made sure I noticed. I think he thinks I am a fan....At best I can handle a little 50cent, but G-Unit are entirely too "gangsta" for me. Guess I'm going to have to polish up my rhymes....

6. I had my car washed after almost a month of snow, sleet and general yuck in Amarillo. It was so beautiful, that it inspired me to clean the inside, the windows etc etc. Word got out and a bird with a bad case of IBS targeted my windshield. Nothing that a little cleaning couldn't take care of, but geez that is irritating.

7. Had lunch at Nothing But Noodles. Not a cheap place considering you are eating Pasta. We had a table of 5 and asked for more breadsticks. Sure, they said, it will be 54c for 6. Seriously, who has the gutzpa to ask for 54c for bread when a table of 5 have all had entrees and a couple of desserts. And besides, what is the 54c going to cover...

8. I am thankful that my almost 11 year old and my almost 6 year old still like to play together.

How Great is Our God Tour

Last night after class I got to go with some friends from our old church in Dallas to see Chris Tomlin and Matt Redmon in concert. It was really not a concert, but a wonderful time of worship. Those of you who know me, know I was in heaven, and seldom miss an opportunity to hear Chris Tomlin. Obviously hearing Matt's wonderful accent made me feel warm and comfortable...and it is always amazing to realize how many songs we sing and ascribe to others are actually his songs.

Clearly, these two artists have had the most significant impact on congregational worship in our time. They are masterful, inspired poets who accurately reflect and shape the theology of our day. It helps that their music is singable and has a hook. Okay, so they are both way cute too! Before I have comments about who I left out as masterful artists, let me mention Mark Hall (Casting Crowns) and Derek Webb as incredible lyricists too. You know I have a long list of favorites but CT and MR have an influence like no other, in my humble opinion...:-)

Getting to enjoy this with good friends & Scott (couldn't resist), okay including Scott was a blessing too.

Nuggets from Charles Siburt's class...aka blogging in class

"People do not change when they see the light, they change when they feel the heat."
"If you want to have less conflict in your church, have more. Invite conflict."
"Churches that play together, stay together."
"The right solution at the wrong time is the wrong solution."

I am having to process 20 hours of stuff this weekend, so I thought I would share the love! Let some of these sink in.

Leeland

If you have read this blog for very long, you know that I am a lover of Christian music. Every now and again I will post about how a song has impacted me, or a growing admiration for an artist, etc. Well, it has happened again. I really am crazy about the group Leeland. Their CD, "Sound of Melodies" has rapidly become one of my new favorites. I just love the song, Yes You Have and so I have included the lyrics for you to meditate on and enjoy too.

Every tree and every stone
Every rushing wind that moans
They sing Your praise My God, they sing Your praise
Every star and open sky Tell of Your glory divine
They shout Your praise
They shout Your praise, yeah
You’ve stolen my heart
Yes, You have!
You’ve stolen my heart
Yes, You have!
You’ve wiped away the stains
And broke away the chains
Yes, You have!!
With Your love You set me free
Three nails gave me liberty
So I’ll sing Your praise My God,
I’ll sing Your praise
Oh, with Your love You forgave my sin
Forgot my past And brought me back again
So I’ll sing Your praise
I’ll sing Your praise, yeah
If I ascend into the sky
Or hide behind the night I can not run
Your love is chasing me
If I fall into the sea Your hand will rescue me
No one will take Your place
Because This is all for You
Yes, this is all for You
You’re the King of the world
You’re the King of the world

Firestorm by Ron Susek

I have just finished this book for my Managing Church Conflict class, which by the way begins next weekend in Dallas and I still have a paper to write and quite a lot of reading still to do. However, I digress. This has been a fabulous read. I have been struck by so many things and wanted to share at least one.

Susek believes that when a "pastor becomes the focus of legitimate complaints, almost inevitably the problem will be found in one of four areas: truth, relationship, integrity, or mission". He asserts that these are 4 pillars of strength that must stand relatively equal in height to balance the structure of ministry.
He goes further to say, "these pillars are not personality traits; they are responsibilities that must be fulfilled in relatively equal balance. Do you pick and choose between them, stating that one fits your personality while another doesn't? It's easy to insist that you just don't have the gift for the ones you don't like, but that's a lame excuse. God not only calls you to exercise areas in which you feel gifted, but also to develop the craft of ministering to all the needs of his people." Hmmm...

This is certainly a worthy read.

Unpacking the "tag" list

Okay, so Frank says I need to unpack #1 and #5.

#1 - David and I visited an Ostrich farm on a road trip through the Cape in South Africa. I got to sit on an Ostrich although it was restrained. Ostrich eggs are incredible. They are so hard and strong that they will bear the full weight of an adult.

#5 - Although I am growing in my enjoyment of movies, I would usually pick some other activity for a date or family outing. I try not to see R rated movies. I do not like "chick flicks" and I really do not like period pieces, and I loathe fantasy, and detest sci-fi (Do you see my struggle). My definition of fantasy excludes Harry Potter though (seeing as though I make the rules for my movie preferences). I do like suspense, some action, detective type, romantic comedy, etc. Obviously, I get to see tons of Disney/Pixar creations :-)!!!

The man of my dreams

And this blog world is my husband! You can always count on David for a good picture. The kids really enjoyed Kennedy Space Center.

I've been tagged by Frank Bellizi

I got “tagged” by Frank Bellizi. Now I’m supposed to tell about five odd or interesting things about me that people would not ordinarily know.

1. I have sat on an Ostrich and stood on Ostrich eggs.
2. I used to swim the Butterfly in swim meets.
3. Before this life of ministry, I was a travel agent.
4. I am a little OCD - like organizing drawers and closets; ensure every last green bean (peas, carrots, corn) is removed from the can before I trash it in case I seperate family units.
5. Movies are not my favorite entertainment activity.

What a trip!

I have spent the weekend mulling over the close to 400 pictures we have from our Orlando trip. There are so many great ones to choose from. I love these new photobooks you can make directly with the online photo companies. I have made two and am dying to see them "in life." Today I was ordering some hard copies of pictures for the kids to have in their albums here at the house. I thought I would share the love with my blog friends. Nothing like a good ole' picture standing right in the middle of Main Stree, USA (Magic Kingdom). That is the back of my friend Christine holding a back pack ready for Kilimanjaro and a stroller to boot!

Between Iraq and a hard place

I am sure that this tired discussion of "to surge or not to surge" has just about run its course, but I still have some thoughts...
What to do? Regardless of whether Hussein was a dictator or not, these thoughts are based on the results of war. Human rights are being violated in droves all around the world and no one is itching to rescue those masses, so clearly we have other factors at play in this scenario...oil, $, power in the middle east, allies etc etc.

America invaded another country against the recommendation of the UN.
Large scale destruction and upheaval has resulted.
Lawlessness rules the day because the power structures that did control are no longer in place (good or bad).
Thousands have died, more are injured and now new amputee rehab centres are being built. Chaos appears to reign supreme.
Whether the war is a good or bad idea, military personnel have left families, jobs and security because this is their job.

But, we ponder whether to go or stay. For every serviceperson I want to yell, "flee." However, we started something that needs to be finished. How can we pull out leaving behind the destruction, turmoil and chaos that this war has caused.

Surely, the only option is to keep the troops that are there supported and supplied so that some measure of normalcy can be possible for the Iraqi people.

The place between Iraq and a hard place is surely that now we are trapped into having to support a war, even if only monetarily.

24

Oh my gosh. I can not believe what has happened in 4 hours. The first two did not hook me. I was grossed out by the gore (more than in the last 5 seasons). The second two hours hooked me. Who could resist Jack crying in the fetal position!
I am a fan, but clearly the new slogan all over TV is a little too much...."All hail to the power of Bauer." Hello!

My Mom

Today marks 4 years since my Mom died. It seems almost unfathomable that so much time has passed, yet on the other hand it feels like forever since we had a cuppa' tea and a chat.
Your influence and touch is still felt.

Michaela for President

Michaela noticed the cover of a Newsweek that David was reading and said, "We are going to have a new category of President soon."
I replied with a questioning tone, "what do you mean?"
"Well," she responded, "most likely we are going to have either the first female president or the first dark skined president."
"That's a possibility," I said.
"Man, I hope it's Obama" she quickly chimed in.
(My mind races between two poles: yes, she wants to see a person of color in the White House so that a true measure of equality can begin shaping the world.....to, I hope some kid at school has not ignorantly been ranting on about Hilary)
"I like Obama too, but what makes you say that."
"Oh, because I want to be the first female President," she says quite casually.

Okay then.

2007, no way!

In case anyone still reads this blog, hello again. Somehow I could not meet all the demands of the holidays, final work due for ACU and keep us this blog. It has been a while.

I literally can not believe it is 2007 because we left Amarillo for a vacation in Florida on 12/24 and arrived back on 1/6 - a new year. We had a wonderful time in Orlando and literally ran ourselves ragged, but it was fun.

Having shared some of my OCD tendencies on this blog before, I know you will understand this. The thing I love most about the new year is that feeling of "getting organized." I love the whole, clean out the closets, plan the calendar, get all the ducks in a row type thinking that a new year brings. Love it.

Happy New Year everyone and here's to more faithful blogging.

Alive and well in Amarillo

Time to catch up. I have had a blog fast over the past 3 weeks in order to prioritize what I really need to do this holiday season. I have my presents wrapped, my final paper submitted, the old Christmas newsletter sent and almost all the parties attended. Phew....

However today I just had to blog about our Small Group last night. We had a time to go around and each share a way in which God has grown us this year, or made Himself known to us. It was a wonderful time of reflection and sharing. Here is what was impossible to miss - although we are 8 families in different life stages we are all journeying a similiar road. Coincedence? Maybe.

The central themes running through our discussion last night centered on: contentment, surrender, witness and relationship. We may have used different words but the themes kept colliding. I have expressed before in this blog that I am thankful for the friendships we share with our coworkers at Central and I am. I am also thankful for the friendships in this small group. Few of us would have naturally just bonded due to age, bible class, life stage, interests, synergy - but here in this mini-version of church we have come together and are able to laugh, tease, cry, kick each other with our big heels (sorry Steven) and know without a doubt that people have our back, all because of Jesus. Powerful. Energizing. Intimate. Refreshing.

Got my Christmas fever blister erupting beautfully off my lip - most big events in life are graced with the onset of the old stress revealing fever blister. I will blame this one on the 15 page paper from Lev. 25 that I submitted today,because surely it would not be from the glad tidings and joy of the Festive Season!!!!

Boycotts and alike

Okay, so I am trying to not type with the frustrated inflection that is seeping out of my pores. If I get one more email about boycotting SAMS or Walmart I may just have to protest :-)!

Seriously, there is a lot to boycott Walmart over: Environmental practice, Monopoly, Sweat Shops, Building practice, Employment practice - all worthy of our effort....but we still shop there and enjoy the smiley face every day low prices!

However, the Christian community is up in arms about Sams and Walmart giving a percentage of profits this holiday weekend to the Gay and Lesbian community. Here is the deal - if we are prepared to call out "sin" and "take a stand" like this, surely we will boycott everytime someone greedy, prideful, arrogant, drunk, untruthful, unethical, racist, uncaring to their parents, profits from anything that Walmart does. You get the picture.

Living in a capitalistic, western society makes carrying these "boycott ideals" impossible to live up to. You can not travel too far down this road until you are made to look like a fool. Take investments for example: if you want to invest your money with a mutual fund that only has holdings that are green, ethical, biblical (one may say) you will not make too much money. These funds are outperformed in the market constantly. I do not see many in the Christian community boycotting the big daddy investment choices and opting to lose money on their investments by "taking a stand."

I herald those who are trying to be as consistent as possible in every aspect of trade they participate in - talk to anyone involved in this lifestyle and you will see it takes time, effort and extra dollars to live this way.

My issue lies with a group of people who see the word gay or lesbian, throw a hissy-fit and think God would have them boycott a store as His way of being the Kingdom. Please.

This is pretty cute

My friend who lives in London sent this to me today and although I think healthy behaviors with children are necessary, I thought this was funny because it was my life! Yes, things are little too over glorified, but I enjoyed it the same!

"Congratulations TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because...... WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have PlayStation's, Nintendo, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
School sports had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TODEAL WITH IT ALL!"

Farmer's Branch, TX

I have had a post mulling in my head about how ludicrous, offensive, selfish and unGodly the behavior in Farmer's Branch has been over the last few days. However, being the Alien that I am I have thought it more prudent to hold my tongue (even though I am legal :-)! I read Mike Cope's blog and he refrenced Larry James' blog post about it today and voila' what else needs to be said. No one says it like Larry James. If you have not already, go over to his blog and read it.
http://larryjamesurbandaily.blogspot.com/

This 'n That

1. You don't have to bag leaves in the Fall in Amarillo. Wait just a few minutes and the wind will blow them to the other end of the street. Yes, we have leaves!

2.My friend from Indianapolis, who shall remain nameless, called a Tumbleweed a "Freakin' large dead bush." She is way too smart not to have identified said bush correctly, she is just way too embarrased to admit she lives someplace that has Tumbleweed!

3. I am the only human being I know that did not watch Dancing with the Stars, but I did catch enough news about it to be excited that Emmitt won. He is a personal favorite anyway. I wonder what kinda' moves Dieonn Sanders could produce for a show like this - hmmm.

4. Studio 60 is still on my "Best of TV" list for all times. Although I share this with perhaps only 5 other people in the entire nation. Its future appears precarious.

5. Red Robin's hamburgers are too greasy/fatty/rich for me. Proved this to be true after eating only 1/2 of one yesterday. Enough said.

6. For parents of school going kids, November/December is beginning to resemble May - way too many things going on.

7. Snopes.com should be mandatory for anyone sending on a "Forward." So much right wing fear and conspiracy theorizing could be laid to rest, among other issues.

8. My friend was diagnosed with cancer, had her first chemo treatment, lost her hair and now her pathology reports are supposedly clear. Short version of very long story. She now is struggling with the question....misdiagnosis or miraculous healing? Should not be a forward you receive or on Snopes - true story.

9. If you do not ordinarily see R rated moves, Borat is not the one to get your feet wet with....or (ahem, cough cough) so I am told, from say a friend, who may have perchance seen the movie. Yuck. You should be okay unless you are female, from a Jewish background, are sensitive to the plight of the marginal, Christian, morally upstanding....so far the tally is not in my favor.

10. My husband won his first Fantasty Football game of the season last weekend. It has been a long and dry season for him. Victory was sweet. Moral of the story, maybe South Africans should stick to Rugby.

And don't forsake the meeting of the saints...

I know you are shocked. This is not normal Arlene type language. However, the truth in that scripture can not be missed. Because of travelling out of town for school over the months of Sept. and Oct. I have been gone 4 weekends. I have had a child sick (at least they took turns) over 2 Sundays and so that has left me being at Central, what, twice in two months. Seems impossible.

I can tell though. I know that my faith walk is in part about me and God and I have that connection. But a huge part of it is the community of faith. I feel disconnected and I hate that. I have missed the power of worship together. No, it has not stopped me worshipping, but one of my primary pathways to God is through the engaging presence of God among the body.

I am thankful today for worship and preaching that you miss when you don't experience it. Now there' s a gift.

Ted Haggard

I am pretty sure this topic has been beaten to death already, so one more shot won't hurt, eh?
There is quite a controversy brewing in both churched and unchurched circles around the sincerity of the confession from Ted Haggard because it seems more reactionary than proactive etc. That is not where I want to camp. This whole "bruhaha" has got me thinking about some things.

1.It seems to me that so often this stuff is not really about sex, but about power.
2.We sometimes set people up by placing them on such high pedestals that they are tempted to think they are "above falling."
3. Linked to the attraction of power goes the thinking, "I will behave this way because I can."
4.Appearance is what we value in church, not struggle.
5.Whether this applies fully to Ted or not, we have so burdened those with the guilt and shame of same sex attraction that they feel out of God's grace.
6.Ministers are sometimes the last to seek accountability in spiritual friendships.
7.We do not practice truth telling.
8.Satan routinely attacks spiritual men (all men really) with Sexual temptation.
9.Once we begin living a lie, it takes a life of lying to cover it up.
10.Our actions always have repercussions that hurt the ones we love the most.

Those who know me best :-)

So my blog tagline, or whatever the correct blogosphere word is for it, says "what I'm thinking even if I don't say it." One of my "precious" friends decided to point out the humor in this statement today with the following email....(and I quote)

"By the way, your blog says "What I'm thinking even if I don't say it..." Give me a break. An unspoken thought? You?"

Shut up! Uh-huh, and this from one whom I love. Way to go, "Elder" Scott, that's the way to build up the flock. Okay, so technically I am not your flock. Seriously, I just love the whole friendship thing and the intimate knowing of another soul and sharing the journey together and yada yada yada.....

All the people inbetween

We enjoy holidays and special days at our house. Half birthdays included. Honoring the kids teachers at special times is always a joy and it is easy to find something fun and nice to say. For one reason there is only one valentines, July 4th, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas per year plus the teachers are different each year. However, for the Ministry Assistants at church it is a a little more complicated. We have been here almost 5 years which means, 5 Valentines, 5 July 4ths, 5 Halloweens, 5 Thanksgivings, 5 Christmas', 5 Secretaries Days etc. What possibly could I say that would adequately express thanks but in a new and fresh way?

Well today I decided to make Lemon Poppyseed bread for our School teachers, Ministry Assistants and Custodial Staff. I thought the yellow and black of the bread would be fun for Halloween. And on the little cards I wrote, "life would be scary without you!" Okay so, Poet Laureat I am not. But, after I made peace with the cheese factor of what I had written, something really hit me. Life really would be scary without all the people inbetween each and every process and product that we take for granted. For every Ministry Assistant that keeps church offices running, thank you. For every person that handles a loaf of bread from the harvesting process to make the flour to the stocking of a loaf at my local Walmart. Wow. It is amazing to think what it takes for us to have the conveniences we have.

So from a cheesy gift attachment to a serious reflection. Life would be scary without all the people inbetween that we rarely get to see or acknowledge.

24 disclaimer

If for some reason (like you haven't finished watching season 5 of 24 on DVD yet) you do not want to know a crucial piece of the 24 puzzle, please do not read my last entry called Barak Obama. While typing that post it crossed my mind that my friend Missy may read it and then have season 5 ruined for her. But I justified it knowing that she is still feeling sick after her surgery and is probably not going to read blogs for a while. Little did I know that my new blog friend Angie would be in the same position. Sorry girls!!! But seriously, in classic 24 style, even knowing what you now know - it will still not ruin it for you!

Barak Obama

For several years now, David and I have really been drawn to Barak Obama. He just has something about him. Last week, David began reading his book, The Audacity of Hope and is just really enthralled by it.

Today David and I spent a good 2 hours talking about some issues related to Obama, the potential for him to be President and other political stuff. Here is the quandry we find ourselves in. I think David has seen a spark of hope from Obama. Something that looks different to the usual political package. He sees him as having the potential to influence the beast called Government and shape it - even a little. I, on the otherhand, although incredibly impressed by him feel cynical enough to doubt that real change can be affected. Just being part of the political machine seems to make me doubt if you can affect real change. It makes me wonder if people like Oprah and Bono could do what they do if they were tied to Government. Hmmm....makes me think.

Neither of us being citizens means that we don't get to vote. But, for the first time in a long time I think America may have someone in view that would be worth voting for. Seeing as though David Palmer was killed off during the last season of 24.

Q & A with U

If any of you have time, won't you share some thoughts with me? When it comes to discipleship and/or Spiritual Formation, what experiences have you had that have made a significant impact on your life. If you were going to hone in on a few key things about discipleship or Spiritual Formation, what would they be?

Thanks

Needing a place to land

I guess I use this expression alot, never doubting that I am being understood. Well, the folly of my ways has been pointed out to me. I used it last night in a prayer request only to be met with a "translation required" look by a friend later on in the evening.
I have just had the final weekend block of the class I having been taking with Gailyn van Rheenen. It was fabulous on every front. (Church Planting and Development). My head is full of soundbites, my fingers have typed over 60 pages of notes and I have done 6 papers with 1 big daddy one to go and I have had 2 weekends of lecture and intense discussion. Needless to say, and here it comes, ...."I need somewhere to land this stuff." I need to dig through it all to get my thoughts in order and have some solid principles established. But, there is so much to think about. It hurts.

My desire is to think theologically about missional church and about discipleship. I have thoughts gathered from Gailyn, from books by Ogden, Frazee, Webber, Stetzer, Rainer -so none of this is original to me. It's a tapestry of others thoughts that I am processing.

Missional discipleship:
It starts with Missio Dei - the very nature of God is that He calls and sends. He forms us into distinctive communities that reflect the redemptive reign of God (Kingdom) in the coming of Christ and in the becoming like Christ (Incarnation). Together we journey(Community), maturing into Christ formed followers (Spiritual Formation) who in the power of the Spirit begin shaping others into Christ formed followers (Equipping).

I know that these are clumsy sentences, but this isn't a neat little simple process either.
Yikes, it's time to pick up kids. Wanna-be theologian out...Mom in!

Hell, Fire and Brimestone and he's only 5!

Spencer today in the car.....


"Mom, .....(school friend who shall remain nameless) is always pushing and shoving. He is not very nice. The teacher keeps telling him to keep his hands to himself but he doesn't. I bet he won't go to heaven."

Oh my gosh!!!!! My stomach landed somewhere in my throat and I began a discussion about the difference between not knowing and following Jesus versus just making some poor choices. Seriously, we are not judgemental, dogmatic, intolerant people...really, we're not :-)!!!

Let Your Mercy Rain

It's funny - I thrive on change in almost all areas of my life, except for new CD's. It takes me a while. I have to build a relationship with a new CD. So, I am in the building phase of my new relationship with Chris Tomlin's, See the Morning CD. It helps that it's Chris Tomlin. We have history - I am a fanatic over his other music (cell phone ring tone and all). I really love some of these new songs and today I was struck by the words of this song: Let Your Mercy Rain.

These are the two things that I am moved by. The first is the idea of God running, looking for us. It is the image of God always being a seeker of humanity. He does not need us, he wants us as Mark Hall from Casting Crowns writes. The second is the fact that He is our overflow and the fountain of our heart. What a beautiful image and a challenge for life.

God, You have done great things
God, You give grace to the weak
And bless the brokenhearted
With a song of praise to sing
You reached down and lifted us up
You came running, looking for us
And now there's nothing
And no one beyond Your love

You're the overflow
You're the fountain of my heart
Let Your mercy rain
Let Your mercy rain on us
You're the faithful one
When the world's falling apart
Let Your mercy rain
Let Your mercy rain on us
How deep, how wide, how long,
how high is Your love
... is Your loveHow deep, how wide, how long, how high is Your love ... is Your love
Oh, God

Studio 60

David and I started watching this new show when it started a few weeks ago. It is one of the most intriguing TV shows we have ever watched. So bizarre but it keeps you going back for more. It struck me while trying to describe it to someone last week, that it is filmed more like a movie than a TV show. The speed of the dialogue and the cinematography is not TV-esque at all. The show doesn't seem to hinge on the dialogue like most TV shows, but rather the dialogue moves the show. I know, this is all very detailed considering we are talking TV. Just wanted to share and see if anyone else is watching.

Mid Life Crisis - chapter 2

If going back to Grad School is chapter one, I will go with this being two. I have a feeling there are going to be more chapters in this little saga before March 28th rolls around. I turn 40 next year and jokes aside, I think it has caused some type of crisis in my being. For those of you who know me, you know that I over-analyize and then analyize again in case I missed something. I allow myself way too much time to dig into the crevices of my mind, heart and soul. The result being a head full of questions, challenges, and so forth - all the time, all the time. I love nothing better than sitting with a friend(s) and talking about the deep stuff - relationships, personality stuff, theology, faith, church, politics etc . I can be routinely shallow and goofy too - don't get me wrong.

All that to say that my leaning toward "all things reflective and deep" has taken me to a weird place recently. This may appear quite juvenile and very "middle school" to the casual observer, but hear me out. I had a dream that has been the catalyst for reconnecting with a few people that have been significant to me...as David, so maturely calls it getting with all my old boyfriends. Not true, exactly. I did have a very special friendship with one of the missionaries' sons who worked in the town where I grew up. Him and I were like best buds on many levels for years and we meddled in the "relationship" water as young teens, but because of the type of friendship we already had, that was less than successful. The collision of several circumstances led to great distance between us and that has never been repaired. While telling someone part of my faith story recently it struck me that he was such a huge part of the story. I can not tell that part of my life without talking about him. It was gut wrenching to me to realize that I had allowed time, space, distance and unexplained situations ruin that relationship. I need on some level for all of that to be okay. I have uncovered an email address for him and have sent him a message, so who knows. I needed to say sorry about some stuff and at least tell him how important he has been in the story of my life.

Now, the other is a little more "soap-operish", but still very valid to me. During this same early teen time, I had a short 3 month relationship, that was very intense emotionally for our age and maturity level at the time. I ended it for reasons I am not sure of now, but that "someone" has been my brother-in-law for 20 years. Oh so complicated and inappropriate. Within the year of this little 3 month thing ending, I began dating David and well the rest is history. His brother (just to clarify, he is single - so I am not complicating anyone else's life)and I have had many reasons to be together over the years and there has always been a "weird" thing between us. Now given, it is 25 years ago and it was only a 3 month teen thing, it was never really resolved. Without all the details, I have internalized a tremendous amount of stuff from this relationship and never dealt with it. Well, I made a cell phone call on Saturday to him (given it is my brother-in-law, people - talk about feeling lame) and we talked in general terms about stuff and I put the phone down knowing that he is okay with me and relieved to find out that we both have a mutual family love for each other and he has not spent the last 20+ years hating me.

Now for those of you who think I have a counselling project to do (or I need counselling), or that I am dying from some deaded disease - I am not, that I know of. But, I do think this big birthday that is looming ahead of me, has me reflecting on what is important and what has shaped the first 40 years. Regardless of how small or irrelevant these two relationships may seem on the outside, they have played a part in shaping my heart and I needed to make peace with them. The people involved are too important to me to let it go anymore.

I feel so much better and who knew?

Harolds Pit B-B-Q

My fingers are a little sticky as I type this blog post, but I am not going to wash my hands because I have the faint smell of my chopped brisket sandwich lingering on them. Yummm! Now for any of you that have spent time in Abilene, you already know what I am talking about. For those of you that are not familiar with Harolds, Oh my gosh! It is really the best bbq ever, I mean ever.

Here's the thing. Yesterday while making plans for today's lunch a class buddy and I discovered that Harold's was no longer in business. We could not believe it - you mean we came to Abilene to take a class for nothing! But, the truth will set you free, people. It was a rumor - just a pesky little rumor. So, today we went over there and indulged in the nectar of the gods at Harold's. But we did come to find out that he is trying to sell the business or have someone take it over. If that does not happen, it will close. You realize that this will change the trajectory of dining in the immediate future. Surely, the powers that be will not let it happen. Hmmm.... maybe ACU could acquire it. It could be the new facility for the College of Delicious Lunch Sciences. Okay, maybe not.

Now for those of you that think I need therapy because a bbq lunch has made such an impact on me, you are probably right. And I will try to get there right after picking up a brisket sandwich!

1 weekend down

Well, the 1st weekend block of my 2 weekend class, Into. to Grad Studies is behind me. The work however, looms above my head...I have a wide range of emotions about the whole thing. It was way more intense than I imagined, but at the same time invigorating because it was intense. I came to an interesting conclusion while at ACU this time. Things have changed, dramatically. And, either I coasted through Undergrad Bible or they have up-ed the anti. Actually, I know I did not coast, so it must be the latter. And here is one reason, I believe. I think with the Association of Theological Schools accreditation came some scholarly improvements. I believe at the time I got the best Undergrad preparation that any of "our" schools had to offer but things have still improved. The library (oops, Learning commons) is a whole new world - one that includes a Starbucks, and amoeba shaped community learning desks with all sorts of technology. The Theology holdings have grown tremendously. The library is actually a fun place to be. The other change I see is a Bible faculty that is more specialized with training from world renowned institutions. No longer is a professor who teaches ministry one semester, also teaching Old Testament another. The GST has gathered together a team of area specialists and so the result is expectations from students that requires research to go deeper and broader. ACU has always had its scholarly legends: Ferguson, John Willis, Osborne, Lightfoot, Humble etc and in later years: Thompson, Foster, Allen. Alongside those have been the ministry legends Wray, Siburt etc. But there is new host of professors that were students while I was studying and working there like Childers, Churchill, Aquino, Flanders etc. It is a fabulous time to be there - even for an old codger like me!

TV Talk

So none of this post really matters, it's just about TV. Nothing heavy today.

Crikey Mate! "The crocodile hunter" Steve Irwin, died in a tragic accident this past weekend and it has really bothered me. Obviously I do not know this man, but from a distance - through the screen, across the ocean and literally halfway around the world - he was able to create intimacy with his viewers so that it felt like you knew him. I think the planet has lost a passionate animal lover, a keen conservationist, fun Dad and good husband.

It is official, Rachel Ray is aiming for world domination. Not only is Miss Super Perky the queen of the 30 minute meal, $40 a day, celebrity food talk, travel, magazines, cook books...now she is hosting a talk show. It makes me smile, because I like Ms. Rachel, she really gets food. Her "yum" is always said with the same intensity of mine.

Now about Survivor. I do not know what to do. I am frustrated that they are dividing the teams by race. Regardless of the outcome, it is just in bad taste. David (who is always so balanced in his views) is encouraging me not to judge before I see it. His advise is to watch, wait and see. I on the other hand feel almost boycott-esque in my view as a protest of the concept regardless of how it plays out. Now you know, the TV execs across the nations are worried about losing my one viewing vote :-) !

Hopefully this stream will run a little deeper tomorrow.

Unity and perhaps History

Today was an awesome day of worship. During the month of August, David and I worked in Kids worship and so we missed out on the corporate experience with our church family for a month. That was hard. I am so moved by the corporate worship experience, and it is my fuel for the week of ministry that without it I feel depleted. So, simply it was just good to be in the service.

But, today was so much more. Our preacher swapped pulpits with the preacher from Washington Avenue Christian church today and their preacher came and preached for us. It was fabulous on so many levels. He is a funny, gifted and engaging speaker as well as an insightful teacher. The lesson was great. But the power of the experience was not in the "quality of the speaker or the message." It was in the actual event. It was unity taken a step further - not just a nice goal that is never acted upon, it became an action before our eyes. At the close of the service our elders embraced Jim and he them and they stood arm in arm as we closed singing, "We are the body of Christ." Powerful. Powerful.

The time of worship in song was full and glorifying and our worship leader was able to create a worship environment that drew me in close to God. I feel like I "did" church in a huge way today which helps me "be" church for the rest of the week.

Cars

Our kids got to see this movie during the summer when they went to Camp Debby in Dallas. They have raved on and on about it. During June we ate more Happy Meals than usual while trying to collect all the "car characters." Well, it finally arrived at the dollar movie, so we all went to see it last night. It was great.

I couldn't believe that I was wiping away tears induced by animated vehicles who talk. Perhaps that is another blog post for another day. Tears aside, the powerful message about relationships is what is so fantastic about this movie. It really celebrates how we become fully alive only when we are involved in people's lives. It shows a life that has become tired and bitter because of hurt and disappointment turn around and become one of engagement and contribution. It shows another where pride and arrogance are replaced with consideration, love and joy. It shows how we need the involvement of people who love and care for us so that we can blossom into who we are meant to be. Okay, tractor tipping aside - there are some deep messages in this movie.
Oh, and the flies and bugs are all little cars with wingy things - so cute!

I've been meaning to post about Curious George and have not done it yet. Another one I loved.

The Kindness of Strangers

Really cool thing happened to me today. I have been intending to call and buy tickets for David to take the kids to see Disney on Ice: The Incredibles. It is during a weekend that I will be away taking a class and besides it seems like a Daddy date kinda' show. Well, I have forgotten to call a few times, then I tried to co-ordinate going with some of Spencer's little guy friends, but that was not coming together quite right either. Today, I decided to sit down and call to get the tickets.

When I heard the voice of the "customer service" person on the other side, I thought - Yikes, this is not going to go well. The poor lady sounded like she was having trouble staying awake at best. Anyway, I asked for what I needed and she became rather chatty and the process of purchasing tickets by phone continued fairly well. Almost at the end, she says "hold on a minute. I have a discount card in my purse that they gave us last year when Disney on Ice came through town and I would like for you to use it." I hear random scratching through her purse and a joyful "found it" on the other side. She comes back on the phone and precedes to tell me that it will save me $5 per ticket and she would like to do that for me. I was thrilled as you can imagine - okay so the $5 is not the issue (actually $15 on the 3 tickets) but it was the fact that she wanted to help me that way.

Now those of you that know me, know that I love a great deal. Free if possible. I am the self-proclaimed coupon/rebate/freebie queen and this was just my cup of tea!

Me on Music & Mat Kearney

There are tons of lists that circulate on blogs, you know the kind. Favorite books, things that irritate you, best vacation spots etc etc. I am always tempted by the Favorite Christian Artist list but can never actually get one posted because it totally depends on the day that I am asked.

I can easily flip flop between Delirious and Caedmon's Call just depending on my mood. I love the new indie band out of Seattle, Hyperstatic Union. On my more "adult, mature days" I love Casting Crowns, MercyMe or Newsboys. On my even more mature days (I am prepared for merciless mockery) I tend to throw back to Philips, Craig and Dean or Dennis Jernigan.

It would be inaccurate if I left out TobyMac. Our house is often rocking with a TobyMac dance party. You can create your own visual for this. Both Spencer and Michaela have some classic moves. Both David and I were blown away by TobyMac in concert - awesome!

I am always a rowdy fan of Tree 63. They birthed and grew out of a Community Church just 45 minutes from where I lived in South Africa. That national pride thing kicks in quite fanatically. Some of my favorites are By The Tree & Telecast. I grew up listening to Pop and Rock that was British and so there is little wonder that I am drawn to the British sound in Christian music.

Then I have my moments, when all I want is that single voice leading me in worship as I sing along. Hands down I love Chris Tomlin. But there are moments when it is Matt Redmon or Bebo Norman. Currently, I am playing my Aaron Schust CD constantly because it is my new favorite and I love every song on it. So many of the songs are great new worship songs I think. Oooh, but that makes me think of the "2 guys with a guitar genre" and I have some favs there too - Monk and Neagle (go Amarillo boys) & Shane and Shane.

So, that is my dilemma. I enjoy a wide range of Christian music, not just one genre. It just depends on the day and the mood. But these that I have listed really are some of my favorites. There are probably more that I have not thought of.

All this to say that on any given day, I love Mat Kearney. I have both of his CD's, Bullet and Nothing Left to Lose - fabulous! This morning I woke up thinking of a few lines from his song Bullet. It's about the cost of true discipleship just put into newer language. Most days, I don't think I reflect this..."I would take a bullet for you, I would cross any line, I'd swim across the sea, I would take a bullet for you, I would take a bullet for you, I would lose it all, I'd take my fall, To show you it's for real." This radical declaration of faithfulness and discipleship is really pulling at me. I think that God is calling me to something more costly in my life.

It took this much of a post on this one type of music. Don't get me started in the larger genre. I literally can flip-flop between... the great musicals (Phantom, Miss Saigon, Les Miserables, Aspects of Love, Mama Mia, Blood Brothers, 42nd Street, Cats, West Side Story, Joseph, Starlight Express, Sunset Blvd, 5 guys named Moe or the Buddy Holly Story, of which I have seen them all and often spent dollars I did not have because I simply can not resist a great musical)...to Kanye West, Jack Johnson, Bon Jovi, Frank Sinatra, Phil Collins, Vivaldi, Bee Gees (old stuff) and back again to Andrea Boccelli. Go figure. Music certainly is a gift from God for our pleasure and enjoyement and a return offering to Him.

Back to school dinner

Every year before school begins, we take the kids, actually it has always been Michaela for a back to school dinner of her choice. This year, seeing as though Spencer is starting school he was included in the mix. They chose Olive Garden and off we went. This has also been the time when we give Michaela a James Avery charm to represent something about her life that year. In Kindergarten she received the charm bracelet. In 1st grade, a backpack. This had a dual meaning - she was starting the "real" grades as well as it representing her love of everything detective. She would routinely pack a backpack of detective and spy stuff. I think it was one too many movies about the "Olsen and Olsen Mystery Agency." 2nd grade was a charm of a glove and ball as she tried Softball for the first time and was very good. 3rd grade was a heart - she had figured some things out about how to deal with friends through 2nd grade and is a good friend. 4th grade was a musical note because she was singing with the Amarillo Girls Choir, aswell as progressing with her piano lessons. This year, for 5th grade it was a megaphone charm. For two reasons - she has just completed a musical where she played part of a spirit team and the theme was around a University campus. And she has done a few art projects at a ceramics store that had megaphones on it. I like the idea that a megaphone is used to send a message very loudly - I pray that the megaphone also sends a message that she is a child of God and you can see the message by the way she treats people and lives.

Well, now the plan had to be tweaked a little because Spencer did not need or want a charm bracelet. So, what to get a boy? We decided on the a brown leather chord from James Avery and a little cross pendant. That way, if he get a little nervous at school, he has a visual reminder that Jesus is with him. And he seems to be getting a little nervous already. I look forward to the many pendants that we hope to have hang around his neck in the coming years...something to represent prayer, fun, friends, growth.

Most of all, we pray that our kids understand when they are grown that the intent was to mark the events of their lives, not the gifts themselves. Celebrations are such an important part of the rythym of life to us.

From Larry James' blog

I have copied and pasted the following blog entry from Larry James of Central Dallas Ministries.

"Okay, I'm going to ask.What you are about to read is a first. Could be a last!I need to raise at least $100,000 by October 31, 2006 in order to pay the required acceptance fee to the State of Texas to receive our low-income, housing tax credit award, to keep our architects working on our City Walk @ Akard project and to pay down our food supply account at the North Texas Food Bank.

I have resisted the urge since beginning this blog to use it as a promotional fundraising tool for the work I attempt to accomplish.Actually, I am not giving up on that standard as I make my unusual request.Let me lay out my thinking.Lots of people who visit here on a fairly regular basis express strong opinions that people of faith should really play the leading role in ministry and uplift to the poor in our nation. Others express slightly different views, but no one has said that people of faith should not be involved.Then, there are lots of people who visit this space whose lives may or may not be shaped by faith. I can't really tell. And, of course, everyone is welcome--we need everyone and every perspective here. Still, folks without faith care a great deal about the plight of the poor and underclass in our country, as well as around the world.So, let's all get down to business.I need to raise $100,000.

Here's how you can help me do it.Stop reading.Write me a check.Or, if you prefer, reach into your wallet or purse and pull out a $1 or a $5 or a $10 or a $20 or a $50 or a $100 dollar bill and mail it to me right now.I guarantee that every penny will go toward the fulfillment of our vision for City Walk @ Akard, our housing development in Downtown Dallas designed especially for low-income and homeless persons, and toward paying for food for low-income families.I believe in the power of grassroots movements.I don't think we will be successful over the long haul if we don't have that kind of involvement and "downward" engagement as we move forward into even larger, more costly and demanding efforts.So, if you really care about the homeless and the poor in Dallas, send me a contribution.It doesn't matter where you live. We need national help to create a model that others can use, adapt and act off of. You can help us build it.

You may or may not care, but every penny given is tax deductible and you will receive a written record of your gift, if you include your address.I want to see how serious the readers in this blog community are about the poor.Make your checks payable to Central Dallas Ministries and mail them or your cash donations to:Larry James' Urban Daily, Central Dallas Ministries, P. O. Box 710385, Dallas, Texas 75371-0385.Oh, and one more very important part of my very serious request:Please forward this post to everyone you know who cares about poverty and real life solutions to its pain and challenge.

I'll keep you posted on the progress.By the way, you can read more about both projects by scrolling back in the blog archives or by doing a search of my blog for "Resource Center" and/or "City Walk @ Akard."Thanks for considering my direct request to join our team as a contributing partner. Such requests won't be frequent. However, when I make one, you can know that it is serious and important."

I've been tagged by Jim Martin

1. One book that changed your life: The Blessing - it has made me try to affirm people on the spot when I see something in them that is admirable, unique, or God like.

2. One book that you’ve read more than once: Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner

3. One book you’d want on a desert island: Armchair Mystic. It would help me focus the "alone time."

4. One book that made you laugh: Soul Salsa - I love the intensity of Len Sweet's style and the dry humor.

5. One book that made you cry: Nelson Mandela - a Biography. I am proud to say that this man was the president of my country. Potentially he is the only person who was capable of presiding over a country during the years of transition from Apartheid to Democracy, and he did with grace.

6. One book you wish had been written: "10 easy steps to moving churches from institutional to missional" - teehee, just makes me smile thinking that any of those steps would be easy.

7. One book you wish had never been written: Baby Wise. It just about put my husband and I in the grave trying to put a two week old baby on a schedule. We celebrated by "trashing" it and going with our gut!

8. One book you’re currently reading: The Young Evangelicals by Robert E. Webber

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read: A Generous Orthodoxy by Brian McLaren

10. Tag 5 others: Amy Grant, Angela Bruce, Dena Johnson, Don Eudayle, Gina Robinson - Bek, if you could find your password I would have tagged you too....