Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Those who know me best :-)

So my blog tagline, or whatever the correct blogosphere word is for it, says "what I'm thinking even if I don't say it." One of my "precious" friends decided to point out the humor in this statement today with the following email....(and I quote)

"By the way, your blog says "What I'm thinking even if I don't say it..." Give me a break. An unspoken thought? You?"

Shut up! Uh-huh, and this from one whom I love. Way to go, "Elder" Scott, that's the way to build up the flock. Okay, so technically I am not your flock. Seriously, I just love the whole friendship thing and the intimate knowing of another soul and sharing the journey together and yada yada yada.....

Monday, October 30, 2006

All the people inbetween

We enjoy holidays and special days at our house. Half birthdays included. Honoring the kids teachers at special times is always a joy and it is easy to find something fun and nice to say. For one reason there is only one valentines, July 4th, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas per year plus the teachers are different each year. However, for the Ministry Assistants at church it is a a little more complicated. We have been here almost 5 years which means, 5 Valentines, 5 July 4ths, 5 Halloweens, 5 Thanksgivings, 5 Christmas', 5 Secretaries Days etc. What possibly could I say that would adequately express thanks but in a new and fresh way?

Well today I decided to make Lemon Poppyseed bread for our School teachers, Ministry Assistants and Custodial Staff. I thought the yellow and black of the bread would be fun for Halloween. And on the little cards I wrote, "life would be scary without you!" Okay so, Poet Laureat I am not. But, after I made peace with the cheese factor of what I had written, something really hit me. Life really would be scary without all the people inbetween each and every process and product that we take for granted. For every Ministry Assistant that keeps church offices running, thank you. For every person that handles a loaf of bread from the harvesting process to make the flour to the stocking of a loaf at my local Walmart. Wow. It is amazing to think what it takes for us to have the conveniences we have.

So from a cheesy gift attachment to a serious reflection. Life would be scary without all the people inbetween that we rarely get to see or acknowledge.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

24 disclaimer

If for some reason (like you haven't finished watching season 5 of 24 on DVD yet) you do not want to know a crucial piece of the 24 puzzle, please do not read my last entry called Barak Obama. While typing that post it crossed my mind that my friend Missy may read it and then have season 5 ruined for her. But I justified it knowing that she is still feeling sick after her surgery and is probably not going to read blogs for a while. Little did I know that my new blog friend Angie would be in the same position. Sorry girls!!! But seriously, in classic 24 style, even knowing what you now know - it will still not ruin it for you!

Friday, October 27, 2006

Barak Obama

For several years now, David and I have really been drawn to Barak Obama. He just has something about him. Last week, David began reading his book, The Audacity of Hope and is just really enthralled by it.

Today David and I spent a good 2 hours talking about some issues related to Obama, the potential for him to be President and other political stuff. Here is the quandry we find ourselves in. I think David has seen a spark of hope from Obama. Something that looks different to the usual political package. He sees him as having the potential to influence the beast called Government and shape it - even a little. I, on the otherhand, although incredibly impressed by him feel cynical enough to doubt that real change can be affected. Just being part of the political machine seems to make me doubt if you can affect real change. It makes me wonder if people like Oprah and Bono could do what they do if they were tied to Government. Hmmm....makes me think.

Neither of us being citizens means that we don't get to vote. But, for the first time in a long time I think America may have someone in view that would be worth voting for. Seeing as though David Palmer was killed off during the last season of 24.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Q & A with U

If any of you have time, won't you share some thoughts with me? When it comes to discipleship and/or Spiritual Formation, what experiences have you had that have made a significant impact on your life. If you were going to hone in on a few key things about discipleship or Spiritual Formation, what would they be?


Monday, October 23, 2006

Needing a place to land

I guess I use this expression alot, never doubting that I am being understood. Well, the folly of my ways has been pointed out to me. I used it last night in a prayer request only to be met with a "translation required" look by a friend later on in the evening.
I have just had the final weekend block of the class I having been taking with Gailyn van Rheenen. It was fabulous on every front. (Church Planting and Development). My head is full of soundbites, my fingers have typed over 60 pages of notes and I have done 6 papers with 1 big daddy one to go and I have had 2 weekends of lecture and intense discussion. Needless to say, and here it comes, ...."I need somewhere to land this stuff." I need to dig through it all to get my thoughts in order and have some solid principles established. But, there is so much to think about. It hurts.

My desire is to think theologically about missional church and about discipleship. I have thoughts gathered from Gailyn, from books by Ogden, Frazee, Webber, Stetzer, Rainer -so none of this is original to me. It's a tapestry of others thoughts that I am processing.

Missional discipleship:
It starts with Missio Dei - the very nature of God is that He calls and sends. He forms us into distinctive communities that reflect the redemptive reign of God (Kingdom) in the coming of Christ and in the becoming like Christ (Incarnation). Together we journey(Community), maturing into Christ formed followers (Spiritual Formation) who in the power of the Spirit begin shaping others into Christ formed followers (Equipping).

I know that these are clumsy sentences, but this isn't a neat little simple process either.
Yikes, it's time to pick up kids. Wanna-be theologian out...Mom in!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Hell, Fire and Brimestone and he's only 5!

Spencer today in the car.....

"Mom, .....(school friend who shall remain nameless) is always pushing and shoving. He is not very nice. The teacher keeps telling him to keep his hands to himself but he doesn't. I bet he won't go to heaven."

Oh my gosh!!!!! My stomach landed somewhere in my throat and I began a discussion about the difference between not knowing and following Jesus versus just making some poor choices. Seriously, we are not judgemental, dogmatic, intolerant people...really, we're not :-)!!!

Let Your Mercy Rain

It's funny - I thrive on change in almost all areas of my life, except for new CD's. It takes me a while. I have to build a relationship with a new CD. So, I am in the building phase of my new relationship with Chris Tomlin's, See the Morning CD. It helps that it's Chris Tomlin. We have history - I am a fanatic over his other music (cell phone ring tone and all). I really love some of these new songs and today I was struck by the words of this song: Let Your Mercy Rain.

These are the two things that I am moved by. The first is the idea of God running, looking for us. It is the image of God always being a seeker of humanity. He does not need us, he wants us as Mark Hall from Casting Crowns writes. The second is the fact that He is our overflow and the fountain of our heart. What a beautiful image and a challenge for life.

God, You have done great things
God, You give grace to the weak
And bless the brokenhearted
With a song of praise to sing
You reached down and lifted us up
You came running, looking for us
And now there's nothing
And no one beyond Your love

You're the overflow
You're the fountain of my heart
Let Your mercy rain
Let Your mercy rain on us
You're the faithful one
When the world's falling apart
Let Your mercy rain
Let Your mercy rain on us
How deep, how wide, how long,
how high is Your love
... is Your loveHow deep, how wide, how long, how high is Your love ... is Your love
Oh, God

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Studio 60

David and I started watching this new show when it started a few weeks ago. It is one of the most intriguing TV shows we have ever watched. So bizarre but it keeps you going back for more. It struck me while trying to describe it to someone last week, that it is filmed more like a movie than a TV show. The speed of the dialogue and the cinematography is not TV-esque at all. The show doesn't seem to hinge on the dialogue like most TV shows, but rather the dialogue moves the show. I know, this is all very detailed considering we are talking TV. Just wanted to share and see if anyone else is watching.

Mid Life Crisis - chapter 2

If going back to Grad School is chapter one, I will go with this being two. I have a feeling there are going to be more chapters in this little saga before March 28th rolls around. I turn 40 next year and jokes aside, I think it has caused some type of crisis in my being. For those of you who know me, you know that I over-analyize and then analyize again in case I missed something. I allow myself way too much time to dig into the crevices of my mind, heart and soul. The result being a head full of questions, challenges, and so forth - all the time, all the time. I love nothing better than sitting with a friend(s) and talking about the deep stuff - relationships, personality stuff, theology, faith, church, politics etc . I can be routinely shallow and goofy too - don't get me wrong.

All that to say that my leaning toward "all things reflective and deep" has taken me to a weird place recently. This may appear quite juvenile and very "middle school" to the casual observer, but hear me out. I had a dream that has been the catalyst for reconnecting with a few people that have been significant to me...as David, so maturely calls it getting with all my old boyfriends. Not true, exactly. I did have a very special friendship with one of the missionaries' sons who worked in the town where I grew up. Him and I were like best buds on many levels for years and we meddled in the "relationship" water as young teens, but because of the type of friendship we already had, that was less than successful. The collision of several circumstances led to great distance between us and that has never been repaired. While telling someone part of my faith story recently it struck me that he was such a huge part of the story. I can not tell that part of my life without talking about him. It was gut wrenching to me to realize that I had allowed time, space, distance and unexplained situations ruin that relationship. I need on some level for all of that to be okay. I have uncovered an email address for him and have sent him a message, so who knows. I needed to say sorry about some stuff and at least tell him how important he has been in the story of my life.

Now, the other is a little more "soap-operish", but still very valid to me. During this same early teen time, I had a short 3 month relationship, that was very intense emotionally for our age and maturity level at the time. I ended it for reasons I am not sure of now, but that "someone" has been my brother-in-law for 20 years. Oh so complicated and inappropriate. Within the year of this little 3 month thing ending, I began dating David and well the rest is history. His brother (just to clarify, he is single - so I am not complicating anyone else's life)and I have had many reasons to be together over the years and there has always been a "weird" thing between us. Now given, it is 25 years ago and it was only a 3 month teen thing, it was never really resolved. Without all the details, I have internalized a tremendous amount of stuff from this relationship and never dealt with it. Well, I made a cell phone call on Saturday to him (given it is my brother-in-law, people - talk about feeling lame) and we talked in general terms about stuff and I put the phone down knowing that he is okay with me and relieved to find out that we both have a mutual family love for each other and he has not spent the last 20+ years hating me.

Now for those of you who think I have a counselling project to do (or I need counselling), or that I am dying from some deaded disease - I am not, that I know of. But, I do think this big birthday that is looming ahead of me, has me reflecting on what is important and what has shaped the first 40 years. Regardless of how small or irrelevant these two relationships may seem on the outside, they have played a part in shaping my heart and I needed to make peace with them. The people involved are too important to me to let it go anymore.

I feel so much better and who knew?

Friday, October 06, 2006

Harolds Pit B-B-Q

My fingers are a little sticky as I type this blog post, but I am not going to wash my hands because I have the faint smell of my chopped brisket sandwich lingering on them. Yummm! Now for any of you that have spent time in Abilene, you already know what I am talking about. For those of you that are not familiar with Harolds, Oh my gosh! It is really the best bbq ever, I mean ever.

Here's the thing. Yesterday while making plans for today's lunch a class buddy and I discovered that Harold's was no longer in business. We could not believe it - you mean we came to Abilene to take a class for nothing! But, the truth will set you free, people. It was a rumor - just a pesky little rumor. So, today we went over there and indulged in the nectar of the gods at Harold's. But we did come to find out that he is trying to sell the business or have someone take it over. If that does not happen, it will close. You realize that this will change the trajectory of dining in the immediate future. Surely, the powers that be will not let it happen. Hmmm.... maybe ACU could acquire it. It could be the new facility for the College of Delicious Lunch Sciences. Okay, maybe not.

Now for those of you that think I need therapy because a bbq lunch has made such an impact on me, you are probably right. And I will try to get there right after picking up a brisket sandwich!