Saturday, January 17, 2009

Blogging Block

I have needed a push to blog recently. For the first time in a long time I literally have nothing to say. Did I just write that? Me, chatty-cathy...nothing. I struggled to make the time to blog during the holidays and I find that when I am out of the habit, it is hard to return to it.

It's more than that though. I find myself slipping quickly into my shell after Christmas - January is a tough month. The anniversary of both parent's death come creeping up on me and I am not always conscious of how it affects me until I look over my shoulder. But I can feel the weight lifting already.

I am also spiritually dry right now. You know how the seasons come and go. I have not been in this place for a while and so it has really knocked the wind out of my sails. I was having coffee with a friend a week or so ago and he too is struggling right now. This is what I have come to. Many Christians live their lives from church meeting to church meeting with very little God time or God moments in between and they seem quite okay with that experience. But when you have struggled for something more and you have experienced walking intimately with the Lord and you know the connection that brings in your life, it is such a hard thing to endure the times that are dry. In my life times like this happen because my focus shifts and how I use my time changes and before long I begin treating God like someone I know, just not someone I want to be with. Being able to articulate this and feeling more normalcy return to my schedule is helping this weight to lift also.

Here's to 2009 and waking up each day asking the question: "What do you want to do with me today, Lord?"