Tuesday, August 08, 2006

FYI - re:previous posts


Habitat House Post:
Don, this is a picture of the completed house. Giving this family the dignity of a place to call home is truly kingdom work.

Amy Stroup Post:
Jim, it is amazing that you know the Stroup's. Our children's minister, Ken Danley, has been a family friend of theirs for years. I know we laugh about this, but it is one of the cool things (most of the time) about churches of Christ - there is no real degree of seperation.

Have a blessed day.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Amy Stroup

This is the 3rd year that our church has brought Amy Stroup from Nashville to do a concert. She is amazing. She is as talented at the piano as she is with her guitar and above all she is a great songwriter, worship leader and role model for kids.
If you are thinking of doing a concert and need a good artist, get hold of Amy. She is really growing her career as an "inde" artist and you will be blessed by the depth of her lyrics and the singability of her music. Check out amystroup.com (the site was having some issues, so if you don't get it first time, keep trying).

Amy grew up in Abilene and she has written a song called "chasing greenlights." She tells of how often when driving down Tredaway Blvd. in Abilene she would get caught at every red light. Soon enough she learned that if she drove at 28 miles, she could catch them all green. Her point is that when we allow God to drive, he enables us to hit the green lights and we can make our way through life (not for one minute saying it will be a road without struggles, but He will walk with us). However, when we are in control and keep wanting to yank back our life control we so often just hit red light after red light.
That seemed pertinent for me today. I think I will spend the rest of my life having to hand back control to the real driver.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Saturday, July 29, 2006

It's so great, I'm giddy!

Over the past 10 days, Central has been building a house with Habitat for a single mom and her 3 kids. It is awesome. The people most involved are so exhausted they can barely function. But they are so moved and so motivated it is inspiring. I have had the fabulous job of acting like "decorator wannabe." If truth be told, no one asked me to do it, I just kinda' decided on my own and everyone else is to busy with essential things that no one has had time to tell me no. It has been like living a dream. But before you begin imagining Extreme Makeover Home Edition, let me get realistic. I have been able to "dress" 2 bathrooms from scratch and do a little decorating in the kitchen. How much fun is this. I am smiling as I type. There was no budget for this because it was not in the plan, so the fun has been seeing how much we could do with a couple of hundred bucks. Did I say already how much fun this is. Anyway tomorrow is the official "handing over the keys ceremony" and the last few little things will be finished next week.
Yes, this has been fun for me, but most importantly, I think we get to witness a family gain some dignity as they begin a new life in a place they can proudly call home.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Connecting Church - Part 2

I think I am actually formulating some more logical thoughts about the book and so here goes post 2.
I believe the major thrusts of the book are two fold. The first thrust being the barriers to living in authentic Christian community. Namely the implications and consequences of Individualism, Isolation and Consumerism. And the second thrust being the rediscovery of what it takes to initiate and enable authentic community. Namely, commonality in purpose, place and possessions.

This is not my first experience with this book and I am still not completely convinced that I fully embrace the model in its entirety. There is undisputable truth revealed in the discussion, as well as examples that appear to be somewhat common in all North American contexts currently. However, I think the real strength in the work will be the ability to contextualize the essence and not try to mimic the model.

While there is an overarching need in North America for real community experiences it seems we would oversimplify the issue by saying the need is the same no matter the context. Frazee writes this book out of the context of Arlington, Texas. Metroplex city sprawl has people crying out for community because their lives have been reduced to work, travel, home and non relaxing entertainment. However, there are boroughs in our largest cities that still have a powerful sense of community. People who live in the Bronx and Queens who have shopped at the same family owned deli and grocery for years, who still live in row housing, who walk to work or bus stop do not have the same level of community need simply because of their setting. They have roots with history and meaning. Here in Amarillo, the culture is such that generations of family units live close and work in family businesses and attend the same churches. They still have need for authentic biblical community simply because that is how God created us to be, but the needs are different once again. It would be an oversight not to realize that people are moving into both neighborhoods in the Bronx as well as Amarillo, Texas and thus their needs for community will be greater than those whose history has rooted them in natural community.

If community in any form was the goal, I could see the book not applying in certain settings, but the goal is authentic Christian community. And for most church going believers in North America in 2006 they can not escape the consequences of Individualism, Isolation and Consumerism on their faith. Thus, the barriers he delineates are pertinent to the conversation if we are to take seriously the living out of church and discipleship on a daily basis. We may even be able to ignore them if our position is merely to “go to church” but we certainly can’t ignore them if we want to “be the church.”

The implications of Individualism are too extensive to discuss exhaustively in a blog post but in essence I believe we have been left incomplete because of it. Our language, our experiences, our faith and our families are functioning at a sub-par level because we do not look like the one who we were created to reflect. God in essence is community. Three in one from the beginning. Jesus’ model for church life, church planting, mentorship, teaching and sharing life included community groups of differing sizes. In the darkest times, he was away but not alone. He communed with the Father.
As we recognize the impact of America’s history and the “rugged individualism” that emerged because of it, the idea of becoming a communally-dependant society is a Kingdom value and not a typical American one. Frazee suggests commonality of purpose as the key to overcoming this barrier to community. The idea is that when we come together around shared beliefs, values and practices we begin the sacred work of transformation. People begin to look like Christ and that is the central mission that draws together a community of Christians. The focus of the spiritual life is to not to satisfy our own needs and desires but to love God completely and out of that source we love each other. I am very impressed with the 30 core beliefs and the small group covenant that Pantego use to shape their people for community. I value the idea of a developed, intentional and articulated statement of belief. It is no surprise that people are able to identify with it and feel connected to something larger than themselves. It is also important to note that this is not merely a cognitive exercise for these believers but rather it is one that intends to saturate their life so that the way they live and see life is changed. I also believe in the model of multi-layer groups. Belonging in larger settings like corporate worship experiences, mid-size settings of Bible Classes and small intimate home groups all fulfill a specific role and need.

However, I have questions and struggles thinking about the practical implementation of this model for church plants in post-modern America. I do not believe for one minute that Frazee was intending to map out a system for church planting, but I am reading this material in relation to application for church planting. Understanding that this has worked well at Pantego and that I have never planted a church, I am hesitant to present myself as a critic, but rather a learner with question. And so, I wonder about taking post-modern thinkers and trying to unite around common beliefs as step one. Generally this audience is quite skeptical about organized church and how it is presented. Uniting around core beliefs would seem to be several steps along in the process. I also wonder about where theological teaching happens. Pantego’s answer was in the midsize groups and I think this is probably best. However, in church plants do we have the luxury of this type of system, or do our home groups become both intimate community and learning laboratory? I embrace the ideas as concepts but wonder how they look fleshed out in church plants.

My mind is pondering this so much that I will stop here and leave the next 2 barriers (Isolation and Consumerism) to rattle around in my head and not on my blog.

The Connecting Church

I have just finished reading this book for a class and I have so many reactions to it that I am struggling to sort them out. I need to write a paper on it and so I am sure during that incubation period my brain will move from a "spaghetti" state to a more logical state over the book. Perhaps I should sort out my thoughts before trying to blog about some of them. Oh, well - this may help sort things out.

I am not sure that the model of small group community presented in this book is attractive to me (can I say that without being labelled consumeristic?). I understand that missional living and true community can happen best when lived out authentically in one's place of business, school, work and neighborhood. I get that. I am not sure though that I can fully embrace the intensity of it. Bottom line, I get bored too quicky. If I feel like I have to be with the same people, all the time, I tend to flee. It is a very strange trait, and I know that already. I have a circle of friends that I share great intimacy and community with. I love that, but it seems so spontaneous and creative still, compared to the "mandated" manner in which this small group system of Frazee's appears. Bottom line, I think I tend to lose interest and get bored with something (even as necessary as communtiy) when I am backed into a corner and have no option for change or reinvention.

Having said that, I understand the point of the system laid out in the book, is to make community "all of life" and not a system or a program. It is a way of being in the world, the church and in life. I know that in my head, I can't get my heart to go there completely.

But here is one thing I have loved from this book. Frazee talks about community forming around common belief. It is a rare thing to truly share common beliefs on theological issues. He sees this as a barrier to community. I have never thought of this and sometimes even pride myself on "being different" to the group. So, I have explored this idea and pulled the "30 core beliefs" from the Pantego church website. The reason it is making me excited, is that I think I have a core of things I want to teach my kids. Not that they have to flesh out the same way, but so that we can hold up these things and say, "this is what I believe." I love this. It is perhaps the start of them developing a true theology & ecclesiology.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

coming soon....

I have the ramblings of a post brewing based on Randy Frazee's Connecting Church. Hopefully will post by tomorrow.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Interesting?

2 things:

Last night while watching Anderson Cooper 360 (I just love saying that phrase) I heard an Israeli tour guide, who is also a Christian, commenting on a well visited tourist site which recreates a village from the time of Jesus. He was noting the obvious drop in tour groups coming to the area given the current situation but then made a profound statement..."for me, peace is in my heart and it does not matter about Jew or Arab. It is Jesus that gives peace."

Wow - I struggle to say that on a daily basis living in a time of peace. Or is it that I am living in a time of peace, and that is why I struggle to say it?

And secondly. I hear that in reference to stem cell research the President does not want to use tax dollars to destroy life. Hmm, and Iraq would be... and the cuts in health, housing and welfare budgets for the most marginal in this country would be...
(just my opinion - no one send me hate mail).

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

To TV or not to TV, that is the question?

Okay, I need some of you to weigh in here. We have lived without cable for most of our lives and then in December we got Dish network. I love HGTV so it has been awesome for me.
Here is the dilemma. I am not sure I love seeing the impact of Disney channel on my 10 year old. Her whole life has begun to revolve around the characters of these ubiquitous tween shows. Some of this is normal "girl-of-her-age" behaviour but it seems a little extreme. We have limits about how much can be watched etc...but all of her friends are also watching these shows and so their conversations revolve around episodes etc also.

So, we are asking these questions:

1.Do we get rid of dish and go back to the standard 5 channels - which essentially leaves nothing for Michaela to watch because she is too old for PBS kids and too young for most anything else on evening TV.

2.Do we ditch the TV completely and go TV-free. (Both David and I could do this fairly easily)

And here is the bind...

1. We do not want to appear "holier than thou" and out of touch with reality to our kids and make them resent our lives based on something like TV.....(okay, so now are we Amish..)

2. We do not want to be so far removed from our culture that we do not have connecting points with people.

3. Is Michaela showing regular behaviour that we do not recognize because of cultural differences in how we grew up in South Africa and how kids grow up here. Is it normal to have several lines from several episodes memorized and be able to quote them at any given moment. Is it normal for her and her friends to spend hours talking about these shows, their characters etc etc.....

Our primary concern is not making our kids happy or having them like us. We will do what it takes to make the best life choice for them. It's hard to know which choice that is...

Help me people...

Friday, July 14, 2006

Cleaning Out

I get a little focused when I am on a run of cleaning projects. The projects tend to run together and then before I know it I have gone through every drawer, closet, cabinet in the house and it has been cleaned out, purged and put back together. I have such a huge sense of joy from doing this. Some may call me crazy, others have even hinted at OCD. Those are the nice names.

I'm in the middle of one of these phases right now. And it has me thinking. When Jesus does His business in us a similar thing happens. He cleans us all out, reshapes, reorganizes and puts us back together and we start new. I love that. What's better is that His Spirit protects what He reshapes and maintains us.

I can keep cabinets straight. I am so thankful that it is God's powerful work that keeps me straight.

Going to hear Rob Bell speak tonight...so excited!

Monday, July 10, 2006

Headers to the Heart

This is the second sports-analogy post in a month, I have broken my own blog rules twice.

World Cup soccer is probably a bigger deal to us immigrant types who now reside in the US than the average American population. Notably the rest of the world has literally come to a grinding halt while the games were played. Soccer truly has a power far beyond the ball.
If you happened to catch the final yesterday you had to see the foul that will remain the talk of the soccer world for years. A French player, literally head butt one of the Italian players in the mid torso for no apparent reason besides perhaps reaction to some sport trash talk. The jury is still out on the reasons behind the behavior and some interesting factoid may arise, but nothing that would warrant such a thing. This was not just any player either, it was a legend. A hero to millions of kids. One of the all time greats. His retirement is marked with a game ejection and the world looking on in disbelief.

It got me thinking about how I treat people. How I handle their hearts. While my actions are appropriate, are my words headers to the heart? When I walk off the field for the day, have I left chaos in my wake or have I been able to pour soothing oil over the broken? Have my judgments disguised as concern ripped into already hurt souls. Have my intentions and motives been checked so that what I say and do reflect the one to whom I direct my praise?

Here is the main difference between what I saw yesterday on TV and my life in Christ. Even when I do not conduct myself in the way He desires, God does not eject me from the game, ever, no matter what the situation. I am never out of chances and I can not foul out the game. That's already covered by the gift of blood that He gave. And the best part is so counter cultural that its hard to explain. Because of the blood, I don't really want to foul anymore. I want to play hard but well. I want to live up to His reputation. I want to represent the team well. I want to ache when I think that my words or actions were headers to the heart of another.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Who Am I?

The threat of this post surviving death by cliche or predictability is not good. Don't you love it when people begin a thought with the "I don't know who I am" or "I am trying to find myself" phrases. Sorry, but this may well be the first of several posts like this. Don't say I didn't warn you....

I am not sure if my current self reflection posture is due to the following things or just a phase.

1. I came through a really hard set of surgeries earlier this year that have taken a toll on my emotional state.
2. I see my 40th birthday looming early next year and I can not fathom that I am going to be 40. I know that is not old, but it seems like I would feel like an adult by now.
3. My baby goes to Kindergarten in the Fall.
4. My firstborn has a body that is developing and looking way more like a 14 year old than a 10 year old.
5. I am in a place where I am not comfortable with my shell - I am heavier and just frumpier than ever. That is in the process of changing because I have begun to take charge of that department!
6. I have come through some Spiritual growth and change this last few months.

Well there - I feel better already :-)!

Because Spencer will begin Kindergarten in the Fall I am having to decide what the next phase of my life will look like. I need to find a part time job to begin stashing away more college $ for these "chickens" and for us to save to go home every couple of years. That would be the responsible thing to do, hey. Well, not what I've chosen. I am going back to school. I am going to pursue my MA in Ministry from ACU as an off campus student. I came to this after almost 18 months of toying with the idea. If I am entering the phase of life when I am realistically going to rejoin the work force till College bills are paid I need to be doing what I am passionate about. I am passionate about Ministry. My Undergraduate degree in Bible was fabulous but I just doubt it is going to get me the kind of ministry job I am gifted for. So, I will hit the books again and probably be 100 by the time I finally graduate.

This decision has led me down the road of asking a set of questions about myself. What am I good at? Where do my gifts lie? What inspires me? What drains me? All of these answers intending to lead me to make a good choice in the next chapter of life. The jury is still out on some of the stuff. But here is what I think today. I think my gifts lie in the area of "shepherding." I love people and have a heart that is inspired by people, their story and their struggle. I am energized by deep and intimate times with people. When I look at my history and how I am currently functioning I think the evidence supports this claim. I have some other marketable skills but when I look at how I hope to function in full time ministry one day, I think I have found my sweet spot. Eldering or Shepherding may not be the role, but I can see myself as a "Minister of Congregational Care" or "Body life Minister."

Who knows what the future will bring. If I have learned anything I know that we don't know what the future holds, but we know who holds the future. Who knows how much of this degree I will actually get done or if it will lead to full time ministry. All I know is that I am being thrust into a new phase of life that is requiring me to look at some things and make some choices.

Some of the ways I have previously defined myself:
1. Stay at home Mom of preschooler aswell as elementary school child
2. Thinking of myself as a peer to young adults who actually see me as their parents friend :-)
3. Non student
4. & more...


These definitions are changing..... All of which seem wrapped up in the question, "Who Am I."

Friday, June 30, 2006

Unity

I am sitting in an hotel room in St. Louis, MO typing this blog post. Our family has just spent the last 4 days at the NACC - North American Christian Convention in Louisville, KY. We have not been able to attend any other cofc and Christian church gatherings yet this year, so this was our first.

So much has taken place here that my head is swimming with thoughts and ideas, questions and plans. I love that the 2 streams in our fellowships have taken 2006 as a year to make an effort to work together and act like family. I love the hope that it holds out for the future. I love the impact it is making all across the world as mission teams unite (Mozambique, Kenya etc), as American churches serve the hurting together (Gulf coast), as US churches merge (Seattle, Washington) and as others partner to pray and get to know each other. No one is asking for us to give up our unique congregations and be one but we are being asked to work alongside each other so that God is glorified. How cool is that!As Jeff Walling said last night, it is time for us to stop acting "nice" (emotionally removed, pleasant but distant) and start acting like family (intimately connected at the core).

100 years of division and family feuding is not taken away in a one year unity effort, but I can testify that more has been accomplished over the last 6 months than either Rick Atchley or Bob Russell could have dreamed of. Last night Jeff Walling and Dave Stone (preacher at SouthEast Christian) swaped bibles and so did many others representing our churches, colleges, worship teams and other organizations. The stage was full of people hugging each other holding each others bibles as symbols of unity with tears streaming down their cheeks. It was history in the making - a new chapter. One that I am proud to hand down to my kids. We were there. Wow.

There was so much more. I can barely recount at a keyboard all that took place. I am thankful to have been a witness to it and to have the plea for unity for God's glory on my heart.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Oh Mavs

You will not find me posting about sports very often. We are not a very sports oriented family and are not particularly gifted in the athletic arena either. I am not a fan of the sports analogy when applied to our life in Christ either. So today I am breaking several rules of my own.

Last night while watching the final game in the NBA playoffs I was struck by something, and it was not an airball by the Mavs. I am a Mavericks fan and I think they have come a long way. I like Mark Cuban's off the wall ways and I think Avery Johnson is a gem. Do wish he would smile a little more often. All that time spent with Tim Duncan has left him a little emotionally comatose in my opinion. Love Tim too...however. Given that I am a Mavs fan, I am saying this with all due respect for what they have accomplished.

The Heat looked like they believed they deserved to be in the finals last night. Their body language, their comments, their focus - all told the same story. The Mavericks acted like they were lucky to be there. Their demeanor was markedly different to Miami. In some ways it was like they had won a spot in the game and not earned it. I am not a sports psychologist or analyst but if I could see this surely anyone could.

It made me think about how we live our life in Christ. Do we live in such a way that we believe that God loves us so passionately that He sent His Son to die for us and the world? Do we see ourselves as cleansed in Him? Do we believe that He pursues us with a love like no other? And as Max says, do we believe that if God carried a wallet, our picture would be in it?
I think that when we are living a life that reflects the power of the spirit and the unconditional love of Jesus, we truly advance the Kingdom in ways that He desires. We join Him in the work that He is already doing and we become His mouthpiece, hand, foot, arms etc.

However, when we live in such a way that shows the world that we only half think we are worthy of being a Christian and we don't really embrace the idea that God desires to be with us we do little more than hinder the work He is already doing in the world.

I am not suggesting that we live in arrogance and pride, but I do think we can confidently know that God is God and He knew us before we were born, and has great plans for us that will make our lives more complete in the Kingdom and He in the quite, longs to sing over us if we will be still long enough to hear Him. God makes us worthy.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Willow, Fathers Day, Infected Toes & Tech Support

Random things that have happened over the last few days that I need to mention.....

I just got back from a few days in Chicago at an Arts Conference at Willow Creek Community Church. I have been there before in 2000 and was quite amazed and "gob-smacked" at how they do church. In fact as one friends says, it takes about 3 months to reacclamate to normal church after a Willow experience. However, this year I was doubly amazed and even more "gob-smacked." Obviously, they pulled out all the stops with a crowd full of Artsy folks. In many ways it was like drinking from a pool of refreshing water that was inspiring and regenerating. In other ways it could be the most depressing thing to contemplate that "we'll never be able to ...."(fill in the blank). It depends on how you choose to look at things and see God working. Instead of depressing me this time, I think I was able to see God's mighty hand all over Willow and how they inspire others to be just a little better and then to see what the potential is for us. Delirious recorded a live CD and DVD on the Tuesday night and we got to be part of that. It was fabulous - awesomely incredible. Yes, I liked it. Although it was a quick day and a half it was great.

Fathers Day rolled around on Sunday and church was literally more than I could bare. I miss my Dad obviously (29 years later, and there is still an ache there). But the clincher was our theme of being "Fathers to the Fatherless." Wow, it was incredible. Dan preached through the texts that call us to be champions of the poor, the orphan, the widow, the marginal - the Fatherless. They showed a video piece from World Vision that outlined the millions of children around the world who are left fatherless from AIDS. Christian Relief Fund was there and they had packets for people to take and adopt a child. Dan in his alter call, asked if instead of walking down the aisle to save ourselves, we would walk down the aisle to save the life of another. The aisles were packed - Christian Relief Fund ran out of packets there were so many people waiting to be a Father to the Fatherless.

My friend Missy has infected toes from a youth trip, Elevations. She jarrred them so much while coming down the mountain in Colorado that her toes are infected and in fact her feet are too. She had no downtime between Elevations and Youthwave, so she called me from Urgent Care in Austin last night to tell me the toe news. I can barely stand the thought of that pain - sore feet are bad enough.

And the final random entry is about the new look of the blog. My friend Angela, who has been moonlighting as my tech support dropped a site meter on my blog and set up my link list. We discovered that I needed a new template because of issues I was having with the old one and so this is the new look. It is so much fun to have someone who knows what they are doing and I just email her and tell her what I need and then magically it appears and works. I am trying to get her to do the same with laundry, house cleaning etc, but she hasn't taken the hint.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

World Peace and Cookies

This is just a short little post, that will unfortunately let you into the mind of Arlene Kasselman. A rather unusual and interesting place, I promise.
In South Africa and other British Colonies they are known as Marie's. I believe in Mexico, Guatemala, Spain and several other Latin countries they are called Maria's. In Paraguay they are called Mana's.

But here's the thing - the packaging looks similar no matter the country, manufacturer or language. The actual cookie (what we would call a biscuit) looks the same no matter the country, manufacturer or language. The taste - yes, the taste. You guessed. The same. They are not overly sweet, perfect for enjoying with a cup of tea. They are a deep cream color, round in shape and about 2 inches wide, with a Greek inspired imprint around the border. They are perfectly crunchy without being too well cooked. This single layer delight needs no filling, icing or chocolate to make them delicious.

It is hard to ignore how soccer unifies the world during a World Cup year and as one famous coach was quoted as saying, "Soccer is not life and death, it is so much more." I agree - this sport played in more places that we can count, and this World Cup, watched by more people than any other event in the world is something.
But can you imagine the potential for unity if we all brought our Marie's, Maria's and Mana's to the table with a good cuppa' tea?

Thursday, June 08, 2006

The Heart of an Artist

Its a fragile yet complex thing, the heart of an artist. I know because I was raised by one. My Dad, although he died when I was 11, was the ultimate thespian. He sang, he played a bizillion instruments, he acted, he did stand up, he oozed creativity. And because of that he was passionate, he was overly emotional, he was easily angered and hurt, but loved deeply. He was the life of the party and sometimes the death of it. He felt to the depths and the heights often at the same time. And so I have a heart that is drawn to the artist, the creative and the passionate.

Churches of christ were not havens for these kinds, I promise. My Dad was our "song leader." That meant he sat on the front pew, thumbed through the blue book and selected a few songs and lead them. But, short of that, there was no room in the inn for those who God gifted in this way. I saw it and noticed that he didn't really fit in, but what were the options?

Last night, and tons of times in the last 5 years I have been able to say, "this one is for you, Dad." Our Wednesday evening summer program began and we do Central Perk, which is a worship, experiential themed evening each week. While moving between stations, a lady from our congregation came to me, just sobbing. She is an artist. All she could say as we prayed was "thank you Jesus, for us being able to do this" over and over again. The heart of the artist was touched and she felt like she could be free and authentically herself. If nothing else significant happens during Central Perk this summer, it doesn't matter to me. One spiritually starved artist among us in this fellowship was able to sit at the banquet table and feast last night. I know God has more for us at Central Perk this summer because He always does, but I am filled from just that. That one was for you Dad.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Community - Sharing Life Together

I know that I have blogged on and on about how impactful real community is, but here I go again. Today I am struck by it on several levels because of experiences yesterday and today.

I have mentioned before that we have a special friend, who now has a blog, and her name is Bek. She is not only a friend of mine, but a friend of our family. She jokes that she hired us here at Central, and in some aspects she did. She was on our search committee and became a heart friend about 5 minutes after we met. Bek and her family have become our family. I do not mean that in the "cheesy" way that we sometimes say that about general people we go to church with. They have become our family. She is not old enough to be my Mom, but she acts like a grandparent to our kids, she guides and mentors us like a parent, sister and friend. Her home is like home for our kids. Yesterday we went over to have a coke together and visited for a while, she invited the kids to stay while I ran some errands. They of course didn't want to and I had to force them. HA! They jumped on that plan - staying with Bek is always first choice. However, she had already offered to keep them later that evening, so David and I could meet with someone. Well, of course, they landed up fanagling a way to stay with her through dinner and until 10:30 infact. When we picked them up, I hugged and thanked her and tried to express my appreciation. Her response was, "hey, I love to do it - I'm standing in the gap." I have tears running down my face as I type this, because of how much this relationship means to me. This is community.

One of the reasons for the kids being with Bek was so that we could go to Starbucks to visit with Dan and Amy. David has been away for 10 days and so he needed to get caught up on what was happening at the office and I really needed to visit with Dan about some things at church. He is our Senior Minister. David and him work very closely together in ministry and so this was work and play really. However, as we sat and talked about the work of ministry, the joys, the frustrations, the current challenges etc it was evident that we were authentically sharing our lives. This is community.

Today, my friend Missy leaves for 3 weeks. It is summer, Adam and Missy are in youth ministry - need I say more. I think they do Elevations, Youth Wave, and Trek back to back. That translates to them being physically gone from Amarillo for 3 weeks. The rest of the summer will also be frenetic at some points, but at least they'll be home. I am excited that they get to grow our students by sharing these life changing events with them, but I hate not seeing her for all that time. I know that this is nothing compared to her moving to Antarctica say, so I am not trying to be a drama queen. But we have talked about the fact that some days we will talk 5 times on the phone, and we can share whatever is on our hearts in detail. And frankly, just knowing that I don't get to do that while she is working for the next 3 weeks scares me. This is community. (or weird-stalker-like-bad-boundary-friendship you make think :-))

In other words, I am the best version of myself because of the love, support, and friendship of those around me. That is community.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Church today

Although I have not admitted this to many, I could take or leave sermons. The places of greatest connection for me in worship are usually songs, artistic expressions and communion. I have nothing in particular against the sermon but my desire would be for a teaching ministry that was more intertwined with the entire experience of worship and not an actual sermon. Having said that, I am quite a Mike Cope fan and could listen to him for hours. In fact, leaving Abilene was so hard for me, simply because I did not want to leave Highland. I was also blessed by so much of Art McNeese's teaching while we lived in Dallas and feel very blessed to hear Dan Bouchelle each week.

Today however, I was very moved. Whenever I try to break down what made up a service that was so moving, I am unable to do that. That is because I think so much of it depends on where your heart is at the time and what the Spirit is doing in you. Today, I loved the honesty I heard from Dan (not that he lies other weeks :-)). The sermon today served as a mirror for me. The worship time was simple with nothing overly creative, but it touched me deeply. My sense is that God had been invited to participate through every song and prayer and He did. I was moved as I reflected on our church and where we have been over the last 5 years. I was moved as I realized that the path we have chosen (staying down town, new vision and mission etc) is not the one to rapid growth or external success. I was moved when I realized that God has worked and is working and in just a few years I have been witness to life changes in people and a church who has tried to change its image and reputation. Obviously as a part of the ministry team here, I share my husband's frustrations about "the life and work of ministry" and it is easy for me to get aggravated at times. But today I was struck by what a huge task this has been to turn this "country club church" ship to something more on the course of "outpost for the Kingdom."

I confess that sometimes it is easier for me to be irritated by the pettiness of people than to understand them. I confess to also being "covetous" of how other churches do things and have longed to be like them. I confess to having feelings of pride that make me want to be at a church that is more forward thinking, more progressive etc. I try to teach my children that "stuff" does not make a person great. Yet, I tend to rely on "stuff" to enhance my church experience instead of relying on God to transform me. Today I am convicted that God has placed me here in this place to work, live and love along side people who are flawed just like me. My focus today is to see God working here in this place at this time with me as a part of the plan and not the problem. Somedays this is easier for me to embrace and believe, and other times it is rhetoric. Today I can say this with a convicted heart.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Spencer's take on Abilene

Because David is away, I decided to take the kids to Abilene to spend time with my brother, sister-in-law and their cousins. It has been a blast! They always enjoy the time we spend there, but I did not realize just how much Spencer enjoys it.

Spencer: "I wish we could live in Abilene"
Me: "Why, Buddy?"
Spencer: "Because it's more better"
Me: "What makes you say that?"
Spencer: "They have much more water than Amarillo"

Obviously I have missed the tropical, nautical appeal of Abilene! Now I know that Amarillo is dry, but this was a little alarming to me. So I pressed the issue with questions like, "do you mean they get more rain?" and so on. His response was just, "no, they just have more water." After using my best detective skills and trying to figure out what he meant, I realized. He was talking about the pool at the hotel. Aaha! I was so relieved that I had not spent almost 6 years living in Abilene, only to find out what an oasis it was after I moved.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Love & Marriage, they go together like a horse & carriage

Actually I am not inferring that either of us are horses, or even old world methods of transportation.
But I am thinking about love and marriage today. Mainly because my man is far away in Paraguay and I am missing him terribly. Only 4 sleeps to go...Woohoo! I taught my kids to count in sleeps when they were younger because it seemed to go faster, I count in sleeps for a whole other reason but that should probably not be blogged about :-)!
Innuendo and fun aside, I really want to pay tribute to David today.

He is an altogether great husband and Dad. I am constantly amazed that he is grown into such an incredible human being after coming out of a family system that did not equip him with the tools of trust, certainty or unconditional love. He has struggled to overcome abandonment issues that tend to permeate ones life in unexpected ways. However, having said that his family has grown too and they are my family too now and we love them!

The easiest way for me to describe some of these awesome characteristics of the man I married 20 years ago is by list, so here goes:

1. He is unselfish with his time and energy. He will put the kids and me above everything else including TV, golf, work etc (maybe not "24").

2.He has deep faith. The kind of faith that makes him never waiver in belief. Considering how "flaky" I can be this is so good to me.

3.He is intelligent and quite a thinker!

4.Although an introvert he has a heart for people and sees the value in stretching his "normal" to make himself more of a people lover.

5.Once per week he eats lunch with a 4th grade little boy at an impoverished school just to be a good influence.

6.He loves a good practical joke, of which I am usually the recipient. You know the type who takes their 5 year old son's slimy lizard and places it between the sheets for his wife to feel as she crawls into bed.

7.He is a "foodie" like me and we can both enjoy a good meal and/or preparing one in the kitchen.

8.He makes the meanest cup of hot tea ever!

9.He loves me in such a "covenant" kind of way that it is not just about me, but an act of worship for him.

10.We have fun together and love to travel and experience new things together.

Oh there is more, but I will stop here. Thanks for indulging me today.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Such a Peachy 24 hours!

I am not usually a "gusher" about life but I'm a pretty happy camper right now.

Yesterday was Michaela's awards assembly at school. She got 19 of them! The academic ones were a given but we loved the ones voted on by peers. Some kids got "most responsible" some got "most athletic" some got "most creative" - I love those. Michaela was voted as "most friendly girl in her class" and "best singer." Those meant as much as "Top Math Award" I promise! It was fun and I was a proud Mama.

However, it is what happened after school that is the best. She scored the big dollars during her birthday and has been saving them up for something special. She decided she wanted a Tamogotchi v3 (virtual pet/person thingy). They are $15 and she has way more than that. She did buy a few things at a concert, the new High School Musical DVD (so my DVR can be released from that prison) and some other stuff. Well, off we go to Toys R Us to make the purchase and she decides to buy one for her friend also. Apparently, the two of them are the only two 4th graders on the planet who do not have one. Her friend's parents are going through a divorce and so she decided it would be a nice surprise to get her one "because of what is going on at her house." Wow - this is my child who is tighter than bark on a tree. I was so proud of her. It was huge. It was fun and I was a proud Mama.

And then last night there was American Idol. Seeing as Chris and Elliott were voted off in some obvious conspiracy (why else would my boys have been taken out, I mean taken off?) I was so happy that Taylor won. He is the quintessential "drunk dad at a wedding" guy who has so much fun it is infectious. But then, not only did Taylor win, Clay Aiken made an appearance. I was sitting just grinning at the screen. At times to protect my reputation I have been a closet Clay fan. Yes, I own the CD and his book. He makes me happy. Well, last night I realized what a huge fan I am. I was all alone watching the show clapping at the screen and smiling at it as soon as I saw him on stage. Gosh, I am going to be harrassed by this confession if my friend Angela reads this.
It was so much fun and I saw all those AI contestants had really proud Mama's!

It doesn't take too much to keep me chipper - a few awards, a good dose of generosity and a song from Clay!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Saturday Morning Breakfast

Immigration yesterday, breakfast today. That is kinda' how my brain works!

Why this is blog worthy I am not sure, but here goes anyway. We usually eat cereal, toast, english muffins or similar fare on an average morning. However, Saturdays are different. I love it. It is the time when the bacon, sausage, biscuits, pancakes and all that good-for-your-tastebuds but bad-for-your-life-expectancy food comes out. But each week, I smile as I look at my plate because I imagine some of our friends responses. In South Africa, a "Full Breakfast" is based on an English Breakfast. That typically includes fried tomatoes, sauteed mushrooms, baked beans. Just in case anyone is tracking the food groups by Venn Diagram as I compare and contrast cultural breakfast food experiences, Pancakes and Waffles are dessert foods at home and not a typical breakfast food by the way. Of course it also includes a fish called a Kipper or Haddock which we do not routinely make here just because we can't find it. So don't worry if we invite you over for breakfast we will leave out the "vegetable" portion.

The point is, I love the fact that we can slow down enough to eat a yummy breakfast, mess up the kitchen and wonder around in pj's longer than we should.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Immigration

If you read this blog, you probably know that we are permanent residents, but not citizens. We have been permanent residents for 5+ years and now we qualify to apply for citizenship. That was about a year ago and we have not made the move to apply yet. I just can not forsee us giving up citizenship in South Africa. That is a huge deal to me and I am not ready to even embrace the idea. We are unable to vote until we are citizens and that just suits me fine! I wouldn't know what to vote anyhow. I am very conflicted politically. I would on a quick surface scan describe myself as Democrat when it comes to economics, global policy, defense, social justice and some moral issues. I would describe myself as Republican also in a few areas related to moral issues (probably not the ones you would think).

But before anyone is offended, let me just explain that we have lived in the US for 15 years total,
6 of those on "student visas" 4 on "religious worker" visas and the last 5 as "green card holders" - never illegal! And, paying taxes the whole time (except when we did not earn enough as student employees).

I have tried to contain myself during the last month or so as people battle out the issues and implications over immigration. I have a lot to say, but would like to maintain my friends so I am not saying it all, but this is crucial.

1. When we become gloabl citizens, we see that people are just like us. Kids in Lithuania watch MTV and post on MySpace. Moms in Jordan order Pizza on nights they are too tired to cook. Families in South Africa, New Zealand, Greece - picnic in the park and enjoy days on the beach. Mothers and Fathers in Sudan, Paraguay, India, Rwanda cry the same tears when their children are taken in death. When you see people and realize they are just like you, you are more likely to care about their plight and want to do something to change it!

2. When talking about the current issues of limited borders etc, remember that regardless of your take on people flow across the world, no human being is ever illegal or illegitimate. Their status may be in question but their humanity is not!

That was a little preachy and so I will end now!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Armchair Mystic

I am currently reading the book Armchair Mystic. As I said in a previous post, this is one of the drier times of my Spiritual walk. However, this book is proving to be a great source of encouragement and growth for me.
I think when I look back at my life I notice a trend. I have used my outgoing personality as an excuse to hide from solitude with God. I get my biggest buzz from corporate worship experiences in various settings or from serving and being with people. I have admired those who appear to be "closet Episcopalians" and thought that their excercises of silence, solitude and silent retreats must be very helpful for them. But, with great certainty I have always known it was not for me. That was my first mistake!
During the current journey I am on, I have been wrestling with a new understanding of prayer and how it plays into our ecclesiology. One of our ministers is providing some spiritual direction for me as I struggle through this stuff. He suggested the book and some additional things for me to do.
This is what I love about the book. It is realistic. It acknowledges that personalities like mine will probably never fully embrace the life of a contemplative, but it explains why a personality like mine needs to incorporate aspects of the life of a contemplative. For the first time in a long time, I feel like the times I am spending with God are truly intimate and not "work."

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Lessons I should have learned long ago

Okay so Missy, Angela and I are trouble. I love it! We perhaps rank as the "most untraditional minister's wife" gang in the SouthWest. In fact when we roam the halls of the church offices, it is not unusual for people to comment about us. The most pitiful thing is how easily we are amused - no really. It does not take much and we are cracking up. However, shallow we are not!

Here's the thing. If you happen to like a pair of jeans that, say, your single nice looking Young Adults Minister is wearing. Rather ask the make. Or, you could decide just to look for yourself and pick up his shirt, check the brand name on the waistband and move on. Of which I chose the latter and almost had him in cardiac arrest. My abovementioned friends burst into instant shrieking laughter and all the other ministry staff present were more than a little amused also.

But here's the thing. My intention was to not have to interrupt his conversation or even embarras him with the compliment and further questions about where he bought them etc. No, I chose to horrify him in discomfort and embarrasment all at the same time. My plan was good, the execution lacked a little finesse and perhaps a boundary or two.
Geez Louise, when will I learn.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Song brainworms

Music is so important in my world - especially my worship.
Usually you can catch me humming a worship song from Chris Tomlin, a ballad from Bebo or something from Casting Crowns, MercyMe or Newsboys (I can get the accent on this one). Lately, it has been "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter. I've been known to even get the Wiggles, Barney or Dora stuck in my head for days. Hot potato, hot potato.....
However, this morning it's a little different. Tell, me why the brain of a middle class, anglo mother of two, minister's wife is stuck on Ridin' Dirty by Chamillionaire! Yikes - for everyone else's sanity and my personal purity I am praying this one departs as quickly as it arrived.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

With a Little help from my friends...

Spiritually I am in a dry place right now, and I do not just mean Amarillo! I have had seasons like this before when I feel disconnected from God and my life of being a Jesus follower seems rote and empty. I am not longing for the word and prayer is a struggle. I know that some of it has to do with recovery from the surgery and a little depression that I am feeling from it all. Some has to do with the fact that God is teaching me new things about prayer. Some of my foundational beliefs are being transformed. Getting here has been hard because in just a few weeks I feel like I have gone from regular me to deist, to semi-aetheist and back to deist and now I am on new ground and something good is going to emerge.

But here is the cool part. As a ministers wife, involved member at our church, ministry leader etc I have been able to share these feelings with some friends and they are not having a cardiac arrest or wondering about my salvation and or impending doom. How great is it to be able to share your authentic struggles and feel safe enough to know its okay! Besides a few girlfriends & my small group I have found community in our church staff workmates. I had lunch with one of our elders wives and then with all respective appropriateness today I had a time to share my heart and struggles with our worship minister. I count him as a special friend, in fact I wonder if we were separated at birth (10 years apart :-)) I found a safe place there in the midst of him being able to point me to truth about my thinking that needed changing. I was also able to seek the counsel of our young adults minister and have him guide me in my pursuit of a different understanding of prayer. I admire and respect both of these men greatly and they extended the same to me today. I love being able to serve a church with a ministry team that is seeking community with one another and desiring to live truthfully together. I was able to walk away from both of these encounters today knowing that none of these people thought less of me, and both love me! Thanks guys.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Double Digits

May 1 1996 we became parents to Michaela Kasselman. Yes, she turned 10 yesterday. Unbelievable. Her party was Friday night and we survived a sleepover with 13 girls. I do not know what possessed me, but we made it through and can mark that one as done, never to be repeated!!!
Michaela loves hanging out with friends. She is a gifted singer and a piano student. School is easy for her and academically she is very advanced. She is detail oriented and very logical in her thinking (way more like David than me).
We love all those things about her, but most of all these are the things I love and admire about her.
...she always make a point to befriend the new kid in school.
...she likes and is liked by most kids who meet her, but it does not matter that her crowd is not the popular crowd.
...she is a concert rat.
...she has a keen sense of humor that is maturing all the time (wit can so easy sound like "cheek")
...she does a lemonade stand each year and donates the money to our Outreach ministry.
...she is a fabulous big sister and her and Spencer really love each other!
...she is a growing child of God and I can not wait to see what He does in her life.
...she loves foreign travel and soaks up anyplace she goes.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Blessed Bubba Floyd

To the one known as Bubba Floyd, formerly of Abilene, TX; Norman, OK; and now Lebanon, TN (okay TN before Abilene also). Thank you for the incredible artwork I received in the mail. This is worth an entire blog series, but I will leave it as a mysterious, self indulgent post today. For the 2 people who read this, I will explain later.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Real Life Sitcom

I am not a lover of sitcoms. Never have been really, except for the Cosby's way back when. I don't really know why - I enjoy a good chuckle. Perhaps, it's because most of them just don't seem funny to me. You have to wait so long for an authentic hilarious moment. Except, Raymond perhaps. He doesn't even have to talk to make me laugh.

However, real live moments of hilarious situational comedy truly crack me up. I can survive on those for days. Last night was one of those moments and I will never do justice to the story by trying to repeat it here in writing, but I will take a stab at it and chuckle to myself in the process.

One of the members of our small group is having back surgery today. There were two conversations in process about the surgery, pain, treatments etc. One of the group members was listening to snipets of both conversations and you get the idea....
The pharmacist in the group was saying that because of the condition, he was probably having to lie on his stomach. The other conversation was about the steroids making him eat a lot. Nancy then began a series of questions something like this....not really allowing anyone to answer, just in rapid succession. Not that anyone could answer, because those not in the discussion, were rolling on the floor laughing.

"Does lying on your stomach make you eat a lot?"
"I didn't realize it could make you hungry!"
"He's got to take steroids because of lying on his stomach?"
"Wait a minute, they are feeding him 6 meals a day because he is lying on his stomach?"

And so it continued for a few more poignant questions. It came out eventually that she sleeps on her stomach, and was a little concerned about the consequences.

For the love!

Monday, April 10, 2006

I'm back!!!!

I survived it and can tell the tale! This surgery did not go as planned and why am I shocked? My life seems to reflect that theme..lesson here anyone? Yes, they did the colectomy and a surprise hysterectomy at the same time....My hospital stay included 2 nights in CCU because of a 150 beat heart rate and an extended hospital stay. But, I am back in the land of the living on the way to recovery. I go to the doc. tomorrow for him to check the incisions etc and hopefully everything is just peachy. Actually today is my first day at home alone with Spencer and it has made me a little nervous. Our energy levels do not match right now and I know who is going to "outlast, outwit and outplay."
Thanks for the love and care from my blog friends, my church family, my biological family. The treats, magazines, meals, flowers, calls and cards have made each day more sunny.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Triple layer Fever Blister

I could not believe it when I looked in the mirror this morning. No matter how calm I say I am about this surgery - my lip revealed the truth. There before me, a beautifully formed, triple layered stress indicator, also known in my life as a Fever Blister. They have betrayed me so many times, errupting in perfect sync with all the hard times. Yikes! Oh well - there's no pretending now.
Actually it is quite funny. I have a friend from South Africa who I grew up with and she works at the University church of Christ in Abilene. Not only have we shared years of life together, we have a common bond in the old fever blister department. So, of course I called her first thing this morning and we both bust out laughing and then recounted our worst ones. Like all respected fever blister sufferers would do.
All that said, I am feeling anxious. However I am being so covered in prayer that I know this will be okay. My church and physical family have been so good to keep reminding me that they are praying and what they are praying for. My blog friends have done the same. I ask you to keep praying for me to be calm, have a peaceful attitude and that all would go well.
I won't be blogging again till I'm back home and feeling good.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Lament

The Central church family woke up Sunday morning to find out that two families are experiencing horrific pain. One family lost there son to an accidental shooting in a game of Russian Roulette and the other families son was arrested for involuntary manslaughter because he owned the gun.
How do you even begin to understand. You don't.

I keep hearing the words,

"Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will sayBlessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to sayLord, blessed be Your name"

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Spring Break

Thanks to so many of you who have emailed about my surgery. It is set for 3/30 - so keep praying!

My body is still on California time and my heart is there too. We had a fabulous Spring Break in San Diego. We were there 2 years ago and I fell in love with Southern California because it is so much like South Africa. Magical, truly magical. I have a theory that if you were born by the ocean, it will always call you back. Actually it is screaming at me. We did so many fun things. We did the Rodeo Drive, Hollywood thing for Michaela. Her and I took a tour of the Kodak theatre where the Oscars are held, and it was fascinating! Then in San Diego we went back to Legoland for Spencer. The kids had a ball and we did too really. We spent 2 days just hanging out at the resort by the pool, going down the waterslide, playing in the game room. It was so relaxing. One day we drove to LaJolla and the kids played in the water. We have officially turned into those people that roll up there pants and frolick in the ocean - so dull to the locals! LaJolla was magnificent. We got to view the pregnant seals and those who had just birthed babies - so precious!
All in all we had a great trip - it was long. Everywhere is long from Amarillo!!!!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Laundry

David and I are planning on leaving tomorrow morning for a quick weekend trip to Dallas. I say intending because Michaela has the flu and bronchitis. It has been an interesting 48 hours. However if we still get to go our friend and surrogate Grandmother to the kids, Becky, will be taking care of them. It struck me yesterday that I had some laundry to catch up on. She wouldn't mind digging through the clean stuff that hasn't been put away but I don't want her to have to do that. In fact, I don't like doing it that way. I am a neat and tidy person who thrives in order, so why this last week or so I have laundry so out of control I do not know. It is what it is and there are a few baskets full needing to be sorted, folded and put away. Actually I have just completed the job and it was a job!
This is what struck me. We are blessed enough not to need the laundry up to date. We have enough of everything to make it for at least 2 weeks in the "underwear" department and many more than that with general clothing.
I'm thankful that God allowed me to see a blessing like that in the midst of a mundane task this morning.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Bono

I know that just about everyone has either heard or read Bono's sermon at the Prayer Breakfast. It was fabulous and I am still pondering things from it.
What is the difference between chairty and justice? I have glimpses of an answer to that question but there is so much still to uncover. I guess what makes me uncomfortable is the fact that my life has been more about charity than justice, yet I have previously thought of myself as a champion of justice.
It seems to me that Charity is giving from a place of "having" to a people who "have not" without affecting change for their long-term hope and living. Justice is sharing so that we all have enough even though "enough" is different in Africa and America. That justice sets into motion the potential for a life of hope, chance, opportunity and viability. Justice longs for the life of people to be transformed into something and charity focuses on the act of my giving without really connecting me to the pain of a people.
How do I teach this to my children? How do I learn how to live in such a way that I fight for the rights of the marginal?
Jesus was about justice.

Surgery

The date has been set for March 30th. I will be sliced and diced and about 11 inches or so of my colon will be removed. Bye bye ugly little pockets of infection and hello a bag of popcorn! There are so many foods that I am unable to eat with this condition and it is getting old! At least, I should have a pay off of being thin. But no.....
On a more serious note. I am not the bravest soul when it comes to medical stuff, or much else really. I am timid about things like that. I am not looking forward to going through this but I know I will be better on the other side - No, I do not mean heaven either. Just, the other side of the procedure. But right now, I am feeling a little anxious about the kids, about me, about the pain, about David....and so the list goes on.
Just thought I would journal some of this so I get it out of my head and worry veins.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Reverse Tithing

I keep hearing those words in my brain. I tend to over analyze things anyway and this one for sure. I heard an interview with Rick Warren on TV the other night and he was asked if it was true that he "reverse tithed." He said yes quite humbly and moved on. This is what this means...He gives 90% and keeps 10%. He has paid Saddleback back for the salaries he has earned over the last 20 years and I know there is more. It is easy to think that his 10% is still a nice little sum, but that is not the point. He stated very clearly that the reason for doing this is to keep him and his family away from the trap of materialism. What a lesson for me. I keep thinking about the implications for my little world. What are the things I am doing to keep myself from the trap of materialism?

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Happy Faces


Love this picture and wanted to share it with the world!

Family

I love it when we are all cracking up about something. I love it when we eat dinner together with the table decorated by the kids. I love it when we have a French Picnic indoors for dinner. I love family game night. I love holiday traditions. I love it when Michaela and Spencer play together despite their age difference. Today I am thankful for family and pray that God equips me each day with what I need for that days ministry to my family.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Daily Communion

Last night after our small group had finished, the telephone rang and a couple from church asked if they could come over because they had a word from the Lord for me. Of course I said yes to come on over. They arrived and the last 2 families from small group left. They sat down and started telling me that their group was studying the idea of daily communion as something to be used in healing. I have been struggling with some health issues and am facing possible surgery. They had lifted my name up in prayer during their small group and felt led by God to bring over a baggie of pieces of bread and some wine for me to use to partake of daily communion as a way of bringing healing to my physical body. Wow - never quite thought of that before. Still thinking. But it was so impactful. They laid hands on me and prayed over me and then I took the bread and dipped it in the wine. They talked more about the very act being a sign to the demons that I was standing on holy ground and they were to flee. Wow again - more impactful.
Think what you may - it is a such a blessing to have people who act on the promptings from the Lord and witness boldly. Thank you Alan and Cindy Nickson.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Marriage

David and I will have been married 20 years in about a month. I can hardly believe that! I know we got married when we were 10.....
Relationships are a funny thing. Ours has certainly grown and changed and changed and grown. Life has a way of changing people - good thing. God has a way of changing people - great thing!
I am thinking about this today because David has been gone for a few days and I miss him so much when we are apart. Why wouldn't I seeing as though I have spent little more than half my life married to him.
Husband, lover, friend, advisor, guide, leader, Dad, Son, Brother, Minister - he is all that!

Christmas, Crankiness and Colons

There are so many reasons I could give for not blogging, but they all seem pretty lame actually. I just haven't done it. Once you let it go it is so hard to start up again.
Christmas was awesome as usual - I love the whole "embrace everyone" atmosphere of the holidays. Just love it!
But, this year it was followed by me becoming rather Cranky. I just don't know what hit, but I felt myself spiral into the grumps. I've been cranky with the kids, a little distant with everyone else and quite withdrawn for me. Interesting.
Well closely followed by Christmas & Crankiness is the Colon. I started having severe Diverticulitus pain which resulted in an absess on my colon and a brief hospital stay. Not quite what I had planned for the start of 2006. But, I think I am on the mend and tomorrow's CT scan will determine that.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Yes!

It is not often that I feel this way after worship. But lately I've noticed a trend - it is happening quite often.
I am squeezing myself wondering if it is really true. Yes, it is! I think we have one of the greatest worship ministers ever. He gets it. He really does. He has not been here long, just 3 months and they have not been easy. In fact I thought he was going to pack up and leave not long after arriving. But, something made him stay. Phew. I believe that God brought him here and God has plans for his stay with us.
Every week I leave thinking of the depth and insight that has been in the planning of the services. They are not filled with "horse and pony shows" each week, but each scripture, encouragement and prayer is said with the big picture in mind. He moves my spirit each week and I find myself before the throne in worship.
I feel blessed to be here for such a time as this!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The After Party

On Monday night the ministers wives and elders wives were honored at a dinner at church. It was a beautiful affair with much formality and grace. Each person who worked hours to make it happen did so with a heart of service and love. For that I am thankful.

But the best part, as often is the case, was the "afterparty." Small tidbit, aside coming.....That is why the contemporary Christian band called The Afters chose that name. Because the best usually comes after the required. Back to the point of the story. My SUV was nicknamed the joybus on Monday night because I had both Youth Ministers wives, our worship ministers wife, our preachers wife and myself. I know you are getting the vision right now and it is downright scary. I am the oldest of the group at almost 39 and so the median age and behaviour in the joybus was something to behold.

After the dinner we visited with lots of people and then stopped for a picture. This was the beginning of the end. We took a nice picture and then we "vogued" for another and by the end we had the tulle and ribbon chair decorations around our heads, over our tummies, in our mouths - okay you get the picture. We then left and started the journey home which ended about 2 hours later after a stop at Starbucks and many chuckles.

Why am I blogging about this? It struck me very clearly that this was community. I have worked places before where the ministry wives were cordial to one another but this is different. We have each others back. We keep each others kids, we help with each others ministry. We laugh, eat together and actually enjoy being friends. This is way cool.

It feels odd to have left out some of the others. Our children's ministers wife, our outreach ministers wife, our senior adult ministers wife - they are all special to us too. They just got lucky and did not have to endure the joybus. Now, if only our Young Adults minister would find a wife....teehee....there is room on the bus!

Friday, December 02, 2005

I Don't remember 9 Being So Big!

Michaela is 9. That in itself is oddly shocking to me. I know that I birthed her and have lived right along side her for each moment, but I am still amazed. I think the thing that really got me this week is observing her appreciation for humor beyond her years. She is "getting" stuff all the time. Just when I think something has gone over her head she cracks up. When did it happen? No fear - I am not going to burst out into a Tevya moment....
She is also consumed by all things Harry Potter. She is a dead ringer for Hermione anyway. It is interesting to me that one minute she is still amused by Junie B. Jones and then the next she is intrigued by the world of Hogwarts.
Just musing on my not so baby girl right now. She has a good sense of herself. She is a gifted and talented young girl. She is kind and obedient (most of the time). I am blessed.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Shantico

Just a month or so ago at the Zoe Worship Conference in Nashville I went to have dessert with some friends from Dallas. We could not find a whole lot of places that were open so we settled on a Starbucks. A friend almost insisted that I try a Shantico. They know me well. I ordered one, they graciously paid and I began to sip on the "micro" size cup. Talk about a party in your mouth...your throat...your happy glands...your soul. Yikes! This is the stuff that dreams are made of. A dark, good quality european chocolate is melted to make this little hot chocolate drink. I honestly do not think much more is added. It is as thick as lotion and as you drink it it hides in all the nooks and crannies of your mouth and just when you think you have swallowed the last sip, a little surprise will pop into your mouth because the taste lingers.

At this point some of you are thinking that I need therapy at the least - don't fear haven't you seen the movie Chocolat. You either get this or you don't!

I have had another few Shantico experiences since then. Just a few! Last night was one of them. However, I took the tiny lid off the tiny cup to look at the "delight in a cup." All of a sudden I was struck by something. This is perhaps the most luxurious and decadent thing I consume. But this is the life that Jesus offers. Stay with me here. His love for us is so intense it is Shantico-like. He lavishes love and gifts on us. He snatched us from destruction and covered us with the most expensive gift - the blood of his son. As I looked at the shades of brown mixed with a little froth and how it all blended the color palate in the cup was intense and deep. Interesting. No really, this is the life he affords. One that is rich and deep in meaning, one that is intense in experience and one that is like no other. Kingdom living is in not luxurious and decadent in a selfish, unconsequential way - but it can be so completely satisfying that it is overwhelming. Don't misunderstand me, troubles are not washed away. Hardships are often induced. Easy street is not usually our address when we follow Jesus. However, the aftertaste left in our mouth after experiences with Jesus will continue to bring joy and delight and surprise.

So when 2 friends and I left church last night to go to Starbucks instead of class and we insisted we were being "missional" no one believed us. If only they knew.... Long live "Chocolat!"

Friday, November 04, 2005

A God Thing

I was doing regular stuff on a regular Thursday when a friend mentioned on the phone that she had an additional ticket to Woman of Faith and it could be mine. I leaped at the chance and made a trip happen in a few hours. God cleared the path - really he did! Slowly through the afternoon things were revealed to me about how easy the planning was going and how convenient it was going to be to postpone several planned weekend events. And then, I got a call that a family member may need some encouragement in the OKC area because of a car wreck. God intended for this and I am the gracious recipient of this grace in this. Yah God!

Friday, October 21, 2005

The Johnsons

ACU Homecoming was awesome this year! Yes, 100 years is surely something to celebrate but it was more than that. We got to spend extended time with friends we had not seen since graduation (10 years ago). Our lives have changed and we have grown and developed. It was a time of honest sharing and putting our thoughts on the table. You know when you pick up right where you left off. We laughed and cried.
Funny thing is that now we get to miss each other all over again. Bummer.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The Little Man in My House

Perhaps it is because my husband is co-teaching a Wednesday evening bible class on Wild at Heart that this is so obvious to me right now, or perhaps it is because it is just so obvious. But, my 4 year old son is a perfect example of the male prototype talked about in Eldredge's writing. He simply cracks us up. You can hear him say at the top of his voice, "let me do that Mom, I can do anything." Or my personal favorite is his rendition of a future rock band that he will be in - he does the meanest air guitar ever and body slams himself at various objects, all with a sash tied around his head. He frequently reminds us that he is a super hero and makes detailed plans about saving the world. The best is his fascination with "no shirt." Whether it is shorts, jeans or pj bottoms, he finds a good reason that they do not need a shirt. The bare chested braveheart runs through the house with glee!

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Be Anxious For Nothing

I have a rather strange attraction toward TV Preachers. I am quick to follow that up with a clarification of which type etc etc. Like it makes a difference. But nevertheless it makes me feel better if I can stand on my soapbox and say, "No, of course not Benny Hinn, Reihnhard Bonke, and a whole lot of other TBN specials." But, sheepishly I admit to loving a good sermon from Paula White, The Bishop (TD Jakes) etc etc. Now that this is in print, its a little creepy....gosh!

Now that we have that out there, I was listening to Paula White preach this past week and it really spoke to me. She was in Phil. 4:6-7 and her words had such power. I know the verse but I do not live it well. I love her enthusiasm for scripture and her knowledge of the word. It seeps out of every pore even when she isn't trying. I keep hearing her being incredulous that we do not believe God when he says, Be Anxious For Nothing! I feel like I spend my life being "pre-anxious" so that I can be prepared to be "anxious" in the most appropriate way. What am I doing....

So, from scripture here is my focus for today and the rest of my days...
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. And the peace of God that transcends our thinking, will guard our hearts and mind in Christ.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Friends

I am not the girliest girl ever and that is just fine with me. I am make-up less more days than I am made up...I don't get my nails done...I do not get a buzz from Women's Retreats....I usually mke friends with guys easier than with girls....

However, today I am thankful for my friend Missy. She has made life here in Amarillo so much easier for me. We think alike on many things and we enjoy hanging out. So this is not meant to sound like something from a "chick flick" heralding the merits of girlfriends. But I just wanted to pay tribute to a friendship between two non-girlie girls!

Monday, August 22, 2005

Nephew Goes to College

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This weekend my nephew left for college. He is tall, handsome, 18 and ready. The rest of us are not. While talking to my brother over this past weekend, driving away from the school with their child still there was one of the hardest things they have ever done. I can hardly even imagine it at this life stage.

Josh, here's to you and your new life! We love you, man!

Friday, August 19, 2005

Who Started This?

I am not a graduate of Harding University and I do not pretend to understand the culture of the college. But....I have read the passionate blogs of many who do know and am so frustrated right now I am blogging about it. It appears that Harding has invited one very politically conservative speaker to their campus as part of a series. I don't get this....Who came up with the idea that Christian and Conservative go together. My reading of Jesus shows him to be a wildly- fly-in- the-face-of-current-thinking kinda' guy. He challenged the establishment and always took up on the side of the marginal and poor. Wow - which part of that did we miss. The speaker they have invited is known for making statements that reflect an ethno-centric, egotistical world view with less compassion than a snake. Why would they do this?

Places of higher learning should stand for that - higher learning. Learning means knowing and understanding the issues from both sides. I am not holding my breath waiting to see if they bring in a balanced speaker from the other side. What do you think?

Isn't it funny that conservative political spin doctors they will welcome but the likes of Mike Cope and Jeff Walling can not speak there. Hello...does anyone see a problem here?????

Monday, August 15, 2005

Accidental Mentor/Model/Impressive Older Person

My intention was never to use this blog to blog on about my kids, but I am discovering that so much of what I learn and am shaped by is because of them. So here we go again.
Each summer we have about 3 youth interns here at Central. This summer they were all awesome - really great kids.

Different to the past years though, is that we also had a Worship Intern. Our Worship Minister left and moved before the summer and so short of using our people week in and week out until someone new came, we had to get creative. During the month of May we had an interim and then we came up with the idea of a young intern for the summer and beyond till we employed someone. His name is John Paul and today becomes an elementary music teacher in the Lubbock school system. John Paul has a beautiful voice - truly riveting to my ears. He is warm, so respectful and just an all round good guy. He had several duties while here and one was VBS. This is where my kids come in. They had seen him lead on Sunday a few times and seemed to like him enough, but then VBS hit and he rose to superstar status. He transformed the worship time at VBS into something incredible. He oozed energy and connection to kids. Every time we would go to the building to see David or work on something the kids would make their way to John Paul's office. They would find him after church. It made their month when he and his wife came over to dinner.

Here's the thing. I watch my kids become enamored by the youth interns, the worship intern, their teenage vbs crew leaders, their kids own worship small group leaders, etc etc and then it hits me how important our example is. It seems like a trite lesson but it is not. Bottom line, someone is looking to you to be their "hero" and sometimes you never know it. So far, my kids have not been let down....what a testament to the kind of interns, young adults and teens we are surrounded by. In fact, one of our families best friends is a family called the Kelleys. Their oldest son drives a Jeep and yesterday my 4 year old said, "when I grow up, I want to get a Jeep so I can match Barry." Pretty cool!

Now, I am left with the commission to begin teaching my 9 year old daughter about how she treats the 4 and 5 year old little people who look to her as the "big kid."

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Experience tells me that I should only blog my thoughts once they are semi-sorted in my mind, but I am ignoring that and will probably ramble on. But, this is my blog and I can ramble if I want to.

Both of our kids have rythym (I know that is spelled incorrectly), a keen sense of movement and a love of music. Our 9 year old daughter is a talented singer and has a sharp ear for pitch. Our son is only 4 and so the jury is still out but we can see the signs already. All that to say - they are drawn to music in a very powerful way. The VBS Cd and DVD is played months after the event. The moves and choreography is done and redone to perfection. We listen to Christian radio, they play CD's, we all go to concerts - this is their life. So, I am so thankful that our church had a music camp during the first week of August. The elementary kids went from 9-3 all week. They learned the music and dances and voila! on Friday they perfomed an incredible show. The reason this thrills my heart is that in their minds, praise and exuberance go hand in hand. They know nothing else. Don't you love that!

I believe it is vital to raise our kids with their christian identity being "Jesus Follower." I do not want them to know church of Christ stuff, I pray they never have to deal with it. I want them to be as comfortable at a Saturday night service at a local community church as they are on a Sunday morning at a cofc.

Some may recoil in horror and say I have bad ecclesiology. Not so. This is not a permissive response to what I do not like in our fellowship. It is an intentional attempt to raise my kids with their only core being: God is God; the Spirit indwells and empowers; Jesus is the way to the Father and following Him requires a life transformed daily to look like Him; People are always more important than things; We are created to Praise; God is more concerned with our shaping than our happiness; To be like Him we need to see people with His eyes.....You get the picture - it is not about church identity markers for me. Sure, they need to ask questions when they see things that are different in the church world. And yes, I will engage those discussions with passion but quite honestly I pray they will look only for the Spirit and when they see His work, they will know that God abides in that place.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Dream a Better Dream

Last night I saw the motion picture epic, "Shark Boy and Lava Girl." 9 years ago I never dreamed I would be frequenting such shows but weird things happen to you once you have kids. Jokes aside and bad reviews considered, I really loved this movie. The basic premise was retaining the ability to dream, with your eyes open, and in doing so creating a better life. I loved the images of darkness being chased away by the light of a positive life. For those of you who are thinking I am on the brink of scientology, kaballah or new age - do not fear. It is was it is and I did not see any savior figues in these characters!!! It was an incredible lesson for kids and big kids like me. I guess the line I will quote for a while is "Dream a better dream."

Monday, August 08, 2005

The church grass is not always greener....

On Saturday night David and I went to the 5:30 service at the "trendy, up and coming church in town." I secretly imagine that everyone who goes to these churches is having the greatest worship, teaching, fellowship and discipleship experiences in the world and my cofc church experience just does not measure up.

Part of me knows better but a part of me always thinks the grass is greener in the community church world. Well, sure - the building is way cool, the people were all really pretty and everything ran like clockwork. But, I left feeling very unmoved and touched in my spirit. I have not wanted to admit that and I don't know why.

Part of the lesson was just bad theology and it left an awful taste in my mouth. The topic, I need a drumroll here, was Money! The pastor says at one point, "if your finances are in the gutter, it may be because Jesus is in the middle of it and he doesn't feel you can handle blessings financially. He then proceeds to say that God wants great things for us to enjoy here on earth." Just can't take that. How do you believe that and address the starving masses in Africa, the starving here who are also faithful? How do you reconcile suffering? Does God really want us to have things to enjoy on earth - or is that our spin on life? I believe that God is more concerned about shaping us into what he desires than our happiness. That usually means growing us through struggle. I do not mean to say that life as a Jesus follower is all suffering and misery - just the opposite. But, I do believe it is a life of real joy regardless of what we have in this life.

So, as I worshipped at Central on Sunday morning, I had a better appreciation for it. When I looked around, not everyone was pretty. In fact some come right off the streets. The building was way cool in 1982 - just not now! We did not start on time and nothing ran like clockwork. But, I was touched in my spirit and knew God was in that place.

I believe God was both places - fully alive on Saturday night and Sunday morning. Sometimes though it is easier for me to see him in cool trendy churches where accapella music does not abide. He grew me this weekend.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Things That Warm The Heart

I know the potential for this post to get cheesy very quickly. I'm risking it anyway. Let's say I am overcome today by things that warm my heart.

1. Our 9 year old daughter, Michaela, wrote her 4 year old brother the coolest letter this week. She told him that she prays for him, that she will always stand up for him. Wow - the stuff that makes me sob!

2.Through a project at church I have made some new friends. One of them, David Carnes - a minister in Michigan, I have only met by phone and email. Another in Indiana, and so forth. I just love the connection that we can feel to one another because of Jesus!

3.Chocolate

4.Drinking a cup of hot tea with my husband every night at 10pm

I could go on and on but I will leave it at that for today. What warms your heart today?

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Finding Donna

Hey Donna
today's blog is dedicated to you. I have tried to email you twice and the messages keep being returned. I read your little comments here and there on this blog and then can never make contact back with you. Please email me so I can get your email address and respond, thanks!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

More Than You Need to Know

I had the first of the "big talks" with my 9 year old daughter yesterday. We figured we needed to at least give her the basic facts before she begins 4th grade. As we talked, not let me rephrase that. As I talked, and she stared back at me, I told her that this was the first of many talks like this we will have. She will be discovering things that she is going to need to ask about and we are going to be giving her more information as and when she is ready - before she needs it. It was altogether a really good experiece. I prayed with her afterwards and her Dad prayed with her later at bedtime about it too. 2 things struck me: My daughter is maturing - Wow! She knew nothing. That has really shocked me. I constantly hear people say that kids are talking about sex etc on the playground all the time. Well, not here. She truly knew squat and had no context for it either.
Now why am I broadcasting this for the world - or all 3 of the people who read this blog. Well, I feel different today. You know that feeling when you get your drivers licence, you get a child toilet trained and now this. I know this is the beginning and not the end, but there was a sense of relief for me.
That's all folks.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

God's Answer and Not Mine

I can not reveal a whole lot of details right now, but for the past 3-4 months I have been involved in a project at church. We have worked the process and given countless hours to it, not withstanding the emotional pull it has placed in our hearts. Well, this puppy is almost wrapped up and I don't know if I am ready. Let me put it this way:
I am ready to hear the answer that I want. Did you catch that big I! I know that God is in charge of this thing but I am having a hard time letting go. He knows my heart, he knows what is best for our church and I have to rest in that. But.....I keep thinking he needs my help to get the right answer. Hmmm...when will I learn. If the answer that comes is not what I had desired, I will live through it but boy how I wish.....

This brings me to another idea that has floated freely through the cavaties of my brain over the last couple of years. It has to do with the will of God. I have read books about this, I have prayed for discernment, I have seen open doors and closed windows. I have some first hand experience with these things, but I don't have answers. I think I now believe that God's will for our lives is for us to come to a more intimate understanding of Himself, to be just, pure, holy, worshipful, compassionate and open. As for all the rest, I am not sure. I am not sure if he so closely directs each step of every journey. I think I am beginning to think he accomplishes His will in us through life situations and circumstances. I just don't think the "detailed roadmap theology" fits anymore. I may be wrong. Has happened before. I know I do not believe in a distant uninvolved God - don't hear that. I love this quote and it seems to put it all in perspective:"This means the present is not meant primarily to be resolved, or even learned from, but to be written in a way that allows us to reveal God to others and to let him reveal himself to us."

So - all that said, if things don't turn out the way my heart is sure they should. God is still God. Process is still essential to good product. I Will survive, but It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want to!

Monday, July 18, 2005

Sleep

Traditionally I have been the person who can sleep anywhere, anytime for any reason. Not now. I do not know what is going on, but I have not had a complete night's sleep for about a month. As soon as I lie down my mind begins racing and I just can't shut it off. Wish I knew what was going on. I am tired and not much fun.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

May Burnout

Do you feel it? We are not a frantic family. Many Saturdays are spent in pj's till late afternoon. No, we are not lazy - just not busy. Then May hits and we don't know how to live. I may sound like I'm whining to some of you that keep 50 plates spinning all the time. Between all the school events, awards ceremonies, special celebrations and field trips, church kids musical and heading up a search committee I am spent. Tomorrow we leave for just over 3 weeks at home in South Africa - sounds delightful.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Back to Blogging

I have let almost 6 weeks go by without blogging. I have not really missed it because I have been so caught up in the blogging world of BST, Mike Cope, Joe Hays etc. I have been a reader recently and not a writer. I think I know why - I just did not want to have to think enough to organize my random thoughts on paper. And here is the reason why....I am chairing a search committee for our new worship minister. It really has been a positive experience for me so far. I have loved meeting and talking with all the potential candidates. I have loved praying for this and planning for it. But no matter what you say, these search committees eat your lunch! It is also May and that means more school committments than there are days to fulfil them. It also means our long awaited trip home is only 11 days away! yah...South Africa here we come.
So, nothing new to say today. But it did feel good blogging anyway.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Birthdays

Yesterday was my birthday. I have had quite an incredible Birthday week actually. It began with a package or two in the mail several days before, it has been filled with lunches, breakfasts and gifts from my girlfriends and will end this Thursday with lunch with a new special friend of mine. David says I begain "Campaigning" about my birthday about a month before it comes. That is so not true! I do begin a subtle countdown at home and my excitement builds. All of this may seem quite trivial to you but this year it was different. Easter on 3/27 and then my birthday on the 28th. It gave everything a new twist this year. I felt like I shared new life with Jesus. Someone made a glib comment about it being mine and Jesus' (2nd birth) special days. I flinched when I heard it because it seemed odd to include me with Him. Now that could be a whole other blog entry. But the words have resonanted through my mind a thousand times since then. I have asked myself over and over again - am I worthy of the company of Jesus. As I said above, I have spent a lot of time socializing with friends over meals this past week, and that feels perfectly normal. I should feel completely normal about socializing with Jesus too - but, it doesn't. Hmm...new insights into my sometimes weak faith.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Back at ACU

I know it is rather pityful when you are prepared to publish the fact that you went to Abilene for Spring Break....But, we only had a couple of days and we did not want to do the snow thing, so...Amarillo tends to be too far from everywhere else just to do a 2 or 3 day trip. And besides my brother and his family are there, some best friends also and so I could go on justifying this choice. Nevertheless we went to Abilene.
Lately I have been struck by a strange feeling everytime I return. It is hard to explain and I have not verbalized it until now. It just doesn't feel like home anymore. I want to stand up and yell, "between David and I we almost ran the Bible Department". We both had worked there so long while in school. This was our area. We knew everyone and everything and more. But now, we feebly head down corridors to offices that are no longer where they were to see people who are not there. Its just weird. What's weirder is that I have been a self proclaimed "lover of change" except this! I would love this little world to have stood still just how I remembered giving me a false sense of power and security.
I think progress is good for the kind of theological training going on in the GST and Undergrad programs at ACU - I just feel out of the loop. You know what I mean?

Saturday, March 19, 2005

The List

I know - everyone is blogging about the people they consider their "faith heroes" and so I am going to do it too! Funny, when I think of these people I know they would not like to be on a list like this - that's what makes them special.

1.Roger and Erin Massey (Zagreb, Croatia) - they bring me into the presence of God through creativity, fun, faith and joy.
2.Mike and Dena Johnson (Seattle, WA) - their extreme love of children (5 adopted angels) is so inspiring to me. Their intentionality in living and faith is astounding.
3.David and Jeanne Wray (Abilene, TX) - no words can describe how they have shaped our lives!
4.Jack and Jeanene Reese (Abilene, TX) - heart friends who have taught us just by being with us.
5.Dan and Anne Boyd (North Richland Hills, TX) - they love God and people with an intensity that I have never seen before.
6.David (my Man) - his integrity is perhaps the most outstanding thing I have ever witnessed. Besides the fact that he is a great Husband, Dad and minister.
6.Paula Cannington (Charlotte, NC) - my friend who lives by faith each and every day.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Mudhouse Sabbath

One of my favorite books from last year was Mudhouse Sabbath. Laura Winner has that great Jewish humor. I miss that living here in Amarillo, TX. Not many Jewish folk walking around. Now growing up in South Africa it was a part of our daily landscape.
This book is a short, quick read on the surface. But dig just a little deeper and let the implications sink in and you can be engaged for days.
David and I begin teaching a short 4 week study over this book this Sunday. I wish I could just sit and read the book to the class - that would be the most powerful. But, I know when you have the title "teacher" slapped on you, the class expects you to teach. I may just have to let the writer teach this one.