Call us crazy.....

Call us crazy, just don't call CPS. I am sure people get arrested for stuff like this. Our kids heard the idea of a "totally chocolate dinner" someplace and they have never forgotten it. So, they asked if we could have a "totally dessert dinner" on Christmas night. Michaela baked that awesome looking Mud Pie on the table. Together they made the Oreo Fluff which is in the bowl next to the pudding. There are also chocolate octopus cookies behind the Mud Pie that Michaela made. The remaining items were by their request and courtesy of Wal-mart. I know, I know - we have had plenty of protein and veggies since then :-)

Critters Christmas

Disney-Cat and Diego-Dog enjoying their Christmas pressies

Christmas Joy

The kids opening gifts - Webkinz...the Wii & Guitar Hero. Life is sweet.

Kasselman Family Holiday Newsletter 2007

Dear Friends and Family
So this is the latest that the Kasselman newsletter has ever made an appearance, I do apologize. But why? Let me count the ways…
1. About a month ago I dated something 1996. Clearly I am not ready for December 2007.
2. It stayed warm so long before the winter weather hit, it just felt like summer.
3. Once I missed my first deadline on getting it done, I grew very comfortable with missing the next 17 I had given myself.
So you get the picture. Then came the inspiration issue. As I like to say, “got nothing for you.” I tried to write this letter several times but it either sounded like some newspaper report or a report on how perfectly great our kids and life was. And due to the fact that we prefer to deal in reality that was not an option. So, I got creative…a poem – not good. A monthly look at the life of the Kasselmans – exponentially worse. A song – seriously it was bad. Just as I was about to tip the cheese factor over to a place of no recovery I stopped. I decided to cut the cute and just write a letter. So here goes.

2007 has been a ….year! I turned 40, ouch and we celebrated 21 years of marriage. Spencer went to 1st grade and that felt like real school compared to Kindergarten. Michaela entered 6th grade at a new school and we got our first dog. The dog about put me over the edge. Dogs seem so domestic – like what grown ups own, you know, parents have dogs. David reminded me we are parents, grown ups, 40+ and domestic already. Okay, point taken. Our dog, Diego is not just any dog you see. He is a dorkie. I have not taken up name calling – he really is. On his birth certificate mind you. A yorkie/daschund mix. Disney, our cat meows “Dork” to him and I don’t think it is because she forgets the “ie.” Her life has been altered in ways she never dreamed about.

In my attempt to avoid the travel log or kid achievement version of newsletters, I wanted just to share 4 things that have made our year special.
1. At spring break this year, we bust out the free Delta passes that we received after being bumped off a flight of theirs last year and off we headed to Seattle, WA. We crashed the home of our old College buddies, Mike and Dena Johnson for a week and it was fabulous. Their 5 kids and our 2, plus the 4 adults made for a fun week together. The treasure on this trip was seeing our kids all become friends. How great is that?

2. David led a mission team to Nicaragua this summer. After being in Paraguay last summer and seeing some of the hardships there he felt prepared for this trip but was met with some of the hardest living conditions that he had ever seen. The team did good work, met great people and as always happens on mission trips, came away feeling like they had received more than they had given.

3. The summer. I know this is a no brainer. What is not to like about lazy days and no school schedule. But this was different. We added a nephew, Matthew, who married my niece Rachel in the most beautiful wedding ever.

4. School. Michaela started 6th grade at a College Prep faith based school here in town. So far it seems like a great fit for her. It provides a good academic challenge but also places great emphasis on the Arts and so she gets to enjoy her music interests also. Spencer just slid into 1st grade like butta’. His precious teacher seems to have unlocked a window of learning in him like we never expected. He has fallen in love with books and reading although can still use them as rocket launchers, Frisbees and step stools when needed. I have continued in my graduate studies through ACU. I feel so alive and healthy in the context of school. I love the books, the conversations, the challenges. Some I love more than others, but overall it is just great.

Spencer is doing Basketball for the first time and seems to be enjoying that. He is losing teeth and growing like a weed. He started Piano lessons and seems to really love that. He has not lost his moves and for those of you have seen him bust it out to Toby Mac or KJ-52 he is still the Little Rapper Boy! I think the music gene is in him also! Michaela is still singing with the Amarillo Youth Concert Choir for Girls and is also in their show choir Pizzazz. She stopped Piano this year because of adding the show choir and the increased homework load of 6th grade. However, she still plays around on the keyboard and helps Spencer a lot. Because her new school is so small she also has the opportunity of playing sports there which is a nice change from music, music, music. She too has grown like crazy and we can not keep her in clothes and shoes!!! David is still loving his role as Executive Minister at Central and I think has really found his sweet spot. We have just completed our 6th year here in Amarillo. Amazing.

Really the only thing that matters at the end of the day or year, in this case, is time spent with the ones you love, and the One who loves us & lives that look increasingly more like His.

Have a great Christmas and New Year and as we always say, come and see us!
David, Arlene, Michaela, Spencer, Disney-Cat and Diego-Dog Kasselman.

(PS Michaela is in her Rock and Roll Show Choir uniform and Spencer is being an elf)

Eat This Book by Eugene Peterson

I have just finished this book today and it was an amazing read. Hear these words from Peterson in the section dedicated to Lectio Divina. Get this book, read it, eat it.

Contemplation means submitting to the biblical revelation, taking it within ourselves, and then living in unpretentiously, without fanfare.. It doesn't mean (and these are the stereotyped misunderstanding) quiet, withdraw, secluded, serene, or benign. It has nothing to do with whether we spend our days as a grease monkey under an automobile or on our knees in a Benedictine choir. It doesn't mean "having it all together." It doesn't mean being emotionally and mentally well-balanced.
Contemplatives fly off the handle, make bad judgments, speak out mistakenly and regret their words, run stoplights an get speeding tickets. Contemplatives get depressed, get confused, get fat, get lost, and sometimes don't get it at all. "Contemplative" is not a term of achievement. It is not a badge of merit.
Contemplative is a designation that any one of us can accept for ourselves and one that we all should. We will never read and live the Bible rightly if we don't. Lectio divina anticipates and assumes contemplation. If it makes us feel better to attach the adjective "failed" I have no objection. Failed contemplative. All contemplatives are failed contemplatives. But the word itself, whether as adjective or noun, stands: contemplative.
Contemplation means living what we read, not wasting any of it or hoarding any of it. but using it up in living.

Come before Winter

In March I am travelling with the Come before Winter team to do a renewal retreat for women in ministry on the mission field in Canada. What an incredible opportunity to join these amazing women. I am so excited about the opportunity.

Last night I shared this with our elders in their meeting and they prayed over me and I feel so confirmed in this ministry opportunity. If any of you would like to check out their website it is: www.comebeforewinter.org

Spiritual Formation at the Kasselmans, Kinda'

I have never felt less equipped for the challenge of parenting as I do right now with a Middle Schooler. Everything seems to be weighted with future consequences and I feel like I am second guessing myself all the time...I may make a fatal mistake and mess things up in significant ways. David keeps the balance and reminds me that many a child has survived and thrived with worse parenting and our children too will be okay. Okay?? Who wants okay, can you define okay. You get the picture...I am a little paranoid right now :-)

One of those challenges is how to have some semblance of family devotional time with a 6 year old and a 6th grader. Yes, we can do our own thing with each of them at bedtime, but I was looking for something more family like. Our church has a bible reading program called MyWord but that did not seem to be working well for us, so back to the drawing board I went.

Finally I came up with a calendar that I drew up that has 4 nights of activity per week based around a theme. Meditation Monday, Terrific Tuesday, Thoughtful Thursday and Feeling Friday. I know a little cheesy, but the kids love it. Tuesdays are for sharing something terrific about the theme of the week, Thursday is an action day of doing something for someone else also determined by the theme of the week and Friday is when we talk about an emotion linked to the theme of the week. Monday is our scripture for the week and the other days are the living out of the ideas in the Monday passage through service and reflection. Are you with me? One goal being that it is an avenue for Michaela to share because she is emotionally quite a closed child. Spencer not so much.

Meditation Monday is quite fascinating. We read a Psalm aloud, read it again silently to ourselves and then read it again. We sit for a minute or two (this is a 6 year old and a 6th grader remember) and think about what we have read. We all have a turn to then share what stands out to us in the passage. The idea is to begin teaching the idea of meditating on scripture or a very basic version of lectio divinia.

Well last night, we did Psalm 23 and Michaela shared first about how cool the idea of living with God forever is. When we asked her why, she very matter of factually said, "you are living forever with your creator - that is pretty awesome." (insert - seriously, could you guys not see that?) Not really. And then Spencer started. Oh my!
"Well the part I like is this...He leads me beside quiet waters."
His voice getting softer and more sappy.
"I...I..I just like the quiet water part."
Eyes down at the text, serious face. A few seconds of silence and then insert a loud, dramatic voice
"It is not crashing and kabooming and whooshing water. It is like a lake, a stream"
Back to the golf commentator tone -
"It is calm. I just like that part."
We affirmed that and asked a question about it to which he responded.
"Well God is with us in the easy things and the hard things. Hard things like when the dog bites me or the cat attacks me. Or I have to crawl in dark places???"
Yes, we said and perhaps also harder things like when there is an illness or someone dies. Michaela suggested times like when Nana died.
David and I could not look at each other because we were ready to bust out laughing.
Calm waters, animal attacks, dark places all in a quivery voice...
How did we get such a "to the point" daughter and overly emotional son?

Both kids observations out of Psalm 23 were great. Thankfully there is no right way to do this. Just being together around the word matters.

Open to Receive

Yesterday was one of those days. My heart was open to receive.

I have had a hard few months struggling with some emotional junk and having God reveal parts of myself that are less attractive and need work. You know those times when you are wading through the complexities of oneself and needing to stay there for clarity and understanding. Over the last two years I feel like I have spent more time here than anywhere. That may not be true - about 2 years ago I had a faith crisis that took several months to work through and this has been more about me and my baggage. God is faithful and I can honestly say I am on the "better" side. With a little help from my friends.

It struck me yesterday in worship that something was different. You know those times when you are clearly more open to receive the word and ministry of God into your life. I met God in worship like I had not done in a while. That was good. Last night we got to go and hear Tquan Moore from Houston in concert. He served as a youth minister with several guys who work here in the Amarillo area while they were all in Houston. He is launching a music career - just a guy and his guitar. I love that. He has a new version of Here We Are But Straying Pilgrims and it really resonated with me. Can't say I have ever loved this song but I heard something in the lyrics that I haven't heard before. I'm not a huge fan of theology that paints the Christian life on earth as nothing but struggle and the only goal is heaven when things will be good. I believe we enter now into the abundance of eternity - you know the already but not yet. So bearing that in mind still consider these words.

Here we are but straying pilgrims
Here our path is often dim
But to cheer us on our journey
Still we sing this wayside hymn
Yonder over the rolling river
Where the shining mansions rise
Soon will be our home for ever
And the smile of the blessed Giver
Gladdens all our longing eyes
Here our feet are often weary
On the hills that throng our way
Here the tempest darkly gathers
But our hearts within us say
Here our souls are often fearful
Of the pilgrim's lurking foe
But the Lord is our defender
And He tells us we may know

Books

I hope that we always have books. I love their covers. I love opening one for the first time. I don't dog ear pages. I do highlight and write in them sometimes. The Scholastic book fair is currently happening at my son's school. It is energizing to me to see the library stuffed to capactity with cases of colorful new books. I guess that is what has me going about books right now. I think too I am contemplating a good holiday read. What should it be?

My most current reads have been:
Junie B Jones Aloha-Ha
Life on the Vine by Kenneson
Discipleship by Bonhoeffer
Ethics by Bonhoeffer
Christ and the Moral Life by Gustafson
Heroes, Saints and Ordinary Morality by Flescher
The Pigeon Finds a Hotdog

I've dabbled with the Audacity of Hope by Barak Obama and will finish that over the holidays.

So now I need something for the holidays. Any suggestions. Just an fyi I am not into historical fiction or Sci-Fi. So bring on any other ideas.

Blog Soup

(as in a little of this and a little of that)

1. Spencer sitting at the table contemplating the meaning of life..."You know, when you register for Webkinz, your whole life changes. It does. Its amazing." Michaela, David and I crack up and almost roll out of our chairs.

2. Our friends Frank and Nancy moved to Dallas and visited our old church on Sunday. I got a call from Nancy to say, "guess what I just spent 2 hours with your friend Lisa at Starbucks and it was incredible." While talking to Nancy I get a voice mail from Lisa saying, "I just spent the afternoon with your friend Nancy and it was great." I think they can leave out the "your friend" phrase - I'm guessing they are now friends. It makes me so happy!

3. I was moved at seeing my daughters response to her friends crisis yesterday. Her friend's neighbor just had a horrible car wreck and their twins were killed. The twins and Michaela's friend were very close friends. Seeing Michaela enter the pain of another was so awesome to me.

4. The spicy chicken sandwich at Wendy's gives me joy.

5. I am not feeling Christmas yet even if Wal-Mart insists on playing Christmas music already.

6. It is the book fair at Spencer's school. I am reminded every year how much I love books. Love them. The way they feel, the covers, the emotional response I have to them. Yes, I spent a little too much....

Gentleness

It is about time to wrap up the Sunday series from Life on the Vine that I have been teaching. This past Sunday we talked about Gentleness. What an interesting week it was working through that idea. When is the last time you really thought about gentleness. I am not talking about what the word means in Greek, or how it is exhibited in the character of God. I am talking about looking out onto the landscape of your world and identifying people as gentle.
I started out thinking about people that I would call gentle. Sure, most of us have aspects of gentleness in different areas of our lives, but I am talking about someone who so completely models a specific trait that you would slap a label on them and be done (I know labels are bad, just an illustration...like if you knew that can had corn in it, you could label it corn).

Think about it for a moment. Right now. Pause and just let your mind wonder a little. Who would you call gentle? Why? How have you seen this exhibited in their lives?

Here are three observations that I discovered.
1. Our culture does not uphold this trait. You probably had to search your brain for examples of gentleness in your life. I know tons of terrific people..people who are kind, fun, warm, generous but people can be all that and not always gentle.

2. Unlike other fruit of the spirit or virtue traits, this one has such an intangible quality to it. Patience, joy, peace, kindness, love can all be grasped in a way that is different to gentleness. It seems to be the coming together of a way of being that is evident in a person's words, their touch, their face, their demeanor, their eyes. None of which can be manipulated but follow from a heart that is transformed by Christ.

Now this is random and how my strange brain works.....

3. You will be surprised how many large people will come to mind. When I made my list just about everyone on there was 6.2 or bigger. Fascinating to me....probably only me! Well actually when we talked about it in class and people were sharing their experiences of gentleness it became apparent that others had the same experience. But it does make me wonder if there is something to the gentle giant idea:-) It makes me wonder if sometimes tall, imposing people compensate for their presence by developing a gentle spirit. I am not suggesting all large people are gentle, but we were struck by how many gentle people that came to our minds were tall.

I feel God's call to be conscious of my choices and not saturate my life with violence as entertainment, self promotion, power broking and aggression. If we believe God has the best life for us we must conform our lives to the gentle shepherd and the incarnate Christ is surely the best example of gentleness that we have.

I think of Amy Grant who posts on this blog, Winslow Ellis a friend here in Amarillo, David Wray (friend, professor, mentor), Cathy Burns a friend and counselor, my nephew Matthew - just to name a few people who I think are examples of this fruit to me. I am thankful that I can learn from you.

And ps. all of them tall....just saying! (To me you are tall Amy....no short jokes allowed).

UPDATE: My friend Scott emailed me this and I feel compelled to add this to my blog...not sure how I missed mentioning Phil and Debby! He mentioned several people from the Riverside church of Christ in Coppell where we used to work before Central and yes, all of these are great examples of gentleness.
(from his email) How about Phil & Debby (I know, I know--they're not tall)? Don Barnes. Ken & Laquita. Pete Montgomery.

Halloween Better Late than Never

Just thought I'd let you guys see Harry and Hermione aka Spencer and Michaela from Halloween.

Musical Moments

This post may be too sappy for some of you. Don't say I didn't warn you. It is adjective filled.

1. The first musical moment happened in the car driving back to Amarillo from Abilene this past weekend. If you have read this blog for very long, you know how much music means in my life. You have seen the posts about musicians, songs, concerts - I love it all. So here I go again. While driving back from Abilene on Saturday I was thinking about what my favorite song is. I don't prefer that question really because I want to get technical as I answer it. I want to be able to have a favorite in every genre, for different life stages, you get the picture. It is almost impossible to pick just one. However, it struck me that I think if the "pick a favorite song police" ever arrive and try to arrest me for not having one, I can avoid the disaster. I have one. Period. This may shock some of you because I am not usually seen as a "hymn" kinda girl, but read these words and hum the music in your head, it is incredible.

I grew up singing this song at the Methodist school that I attended. We also sang it at the small Church of Christ in South Africa that I attended. We sang it in assemblies at high school and not much more after that. It was not an Abilene song. Occasionally, Craig Noland one of the worship leaders where we worked in Coppell led it. I can hear his incredible voice caressing the words and music. Rarely do we sing it in Amarillo. And quite honestly I think when MercyMe released their version of it 3 or so years ago I fell in love with it again. Their interpretation is my all time favorite. Enjoy these words.

The Love of God

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell
It goes beyond the highest star
And reaches to the lowest hell
The guilty pair, bowed down with care
God gave His Son to win
His erring child He reconciled
And pardoned from his sin
Could we with ink the ocean fill
And were the skies of parchment made
Were every stalk on earth a quill
And every man a scribe by trade
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry
Nor could the scroll contain the whole
Though stretched from sky to sky
O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints' and angels' song

2. The second one happened last night. After Michaela's middle school discipleship time I picked her up and we went to Polk Street United Methodist Church for an Organ Concert. Michaela wanted to go because her school choir teacher was singing, her Amarillo Youth Choir pianist was one of the featured Organists and the Conductor was Mr. Rolando Salazar who directed the Prepatory choir she was in. So off we went. I know a middle schooler dragging her Mom to an event like this??? Little did we know what an incredible event it would be. 2 fabulous soloists (one soprano, one mezza soprano)were featured, both having performed from Prague to New York. They now live here in Amarillo and teach at WT. Several amazing Organists played. The WT Chorale sang with the Polk Street Choir. The Philharmonic Orchestra was there - just unreal. The final piece was "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" and it was beyond words. I felt tears just running down my face and as I looked at the lady I had made friends with next to me, tears were her response also. The music was so overwhelmingly moving that you almost felt your own heartbeat. The choirs were outstanding. However without a doubt the most amazing element was watching Mr. Salazar conduct. You could see the emotion, the music, the perfection consuming his body and his face. Every part of him was fully present in every note and his body almost danced the music as he conducted. Tears began rolling down his cheeks and it was clear that as a young, professional, freakishly talented man who turned down a position teaching at Julliard to remain in the Panhandle - this was about life and love and faith. The power of music amazes me.

Rugby Happy Dance

We won, we won.. we are the best in the world. Woohoo South Africa. Who would have thought that the group of us South Africans gathered to watch the final together would all be in tears by the end of the trophy presentation. Remember the line from an old 80's song, "wherever I lay my hat, that's my home." It's a lie.

Self Care

I almost hate to post this because I do not want to communicate a message that is individualistic or "all about me" - not even a little bit. In fact I am drawn to this subject because I think with some self care we tend to be better at community.

I had breakfast with a friend on Saturday. She happens also to be one of the best counselors I have ever known. Yes, very good for me. I get "friend therapy". We talked about what it is in us that motivates us to seek approval through the "doing" of things. Good, real, deep, insightful conversation. She made a point, that Dan also mentioned on Sunday. Hurt people, hurt people. We all operate out of our woundedness.

Even those of us who have not had great childhood trauma, we have emotional wounds simply because we have lived. As a child, we are egocentric and while our core personalities are forming we funnel everything through that "I" filter. So, for a child if my parents are always pushing me to do better and never seem pleased with my performance, instead of ascribing that to their issues, I take that on as not being good enough. You fill in the situation and the result is the same.

And I believe the Accuser hurts us where we hurt the most! So, if we believe we are not significant because of the way we attributed a set of feelings and behaviors as a child. We function out of that as an adult. We work, work, work in order for someone to tell us that we are significant. We can spend our whole lives looking for significance and when people do not fill that need our worst fears are confirmed and the cycle continues. How can we possibly function as fully alive disciples living in the extravagance of God's love for us. We can't. In some form or fashion we live out our Christian walk trying to earn God's love, the approval of our church family and hoping to just manage sin at best.

That leads to the idea of self care. Only when we understand this and know that people all around us are struggling in the same way can we begin to grow in health. We can then begin to understand people, and not just label and judge them. When we take the time, risk and energy needed to know ourselves and name our fears that drive us, there is hope. Then we begin the journey to filling our minds and hearts with the attributes of God. When we fully believe that He is enough, sufficient, supreme we can take deep breaths. We can really believe, regardless of what the 6 year old inside our head says, that we are chosen, heirs, elect, children of the King, empowered, filled and loved. Now having that as the go to list in your brain instead of the other is self care.

The other aspect to self care that I love, is God care. Actually it has got nothing to do with self and all to do with God. The result though is a full, alive self. The self is actually cared for and brought to life. The work of God in us. Transforming us into who he wants us to be. A gift, but one that we can pursue. We position ourselves in ways that soak up all he has to offer. We make space for him. We listen during prayer instead of just speaking. We do all we can to be the most open vessel possible for him to fill.

Check This Out

If you read this blog and do not read Greg Kendall-Balls blog, I would like to ask that you link over to his blog and read this post:
http://kendallball.com/2007/09/29/invisible-children-photography-trip

Besides being an incredible thinker and a gifted photographer he is also a friend of ours. Greg literally grew up before my eyes. His family attended church with ours in South Africa. My Mom loved Greg, Jordan and Jenni like they were her own kids.

He is being given an incredible opportunity and if you can help him achieve this please do. Look for the little donate button and if you can give anything at all it will help make this trip a reality.
Thanks!

Heroes Saints & Ordinary Morality

I have just completed a fascinating read by Andrew Flescher, Heroes Saints & Ordinary Morality. It is not a quick read or even an easy one. But, it is a rich one. I know I will need to reread this book, several times perhaps, before I really "get it" but after this first read I have been struck by several things. Flescher looks back at traditional approaches to ethics that suggest there is a sharp distinction between those we might call heroes and saints and the majority of us ordinary people. He looks at the views upheld by Urmson and Heyd and tries to undo that thinking by highlighting the lives of Martin Luther King, Jr., Holocaust rescuers, Dorothy Day etc. If one was to look at figures in the last 10 years we might throw out the names of Mother Theresa, 911 Firefighters, Nelson Mandela...

So here is the question. Do we all have the responsibility to go that extra mile. Or, do we leave that to those who are somehow instinctively different than us: better somehow?

Flescher closes the book by reflecting on the writing of Tillich and other developmentalists in the world of ethics. He writes (with obvious note that this is lacking in theological language and approach) "We should be responsible in living, both responsible for ourselves and for our own development, and responsible for the welfare and well-being of others. Responsibility implies vigilance. It implies watching out for our character, directing it in ways that will resist the temptation to succumb to non-deliberate, unreflective living". That statement resonates so deeply with me. And even though this statement is not nuanced with the results of the transforming work of the cross and the spirit, does it challenge you? In what ways do you see the mainstream church living and thinking in ways that are "non-deliberate and unreflective".

This makes me want to be a better version of myself. It makes me want to embrace the hard questions and discussions. (David recoils in horror as he thinks, what more deep philosophical discussions?). It makes me want to journey into the hidden places of my head and heart. Sometimes things connect deeply with me because of where I am at the moment and so it is possible you may read these thoughts and go, "nah". But if something strikes you share it.

Plagarism again....sorry Amy

My friend Amy always has interesting random questions on her blog and I have copied her before, so here I go again, with minor adjustments.
I love these kinds of things because it always gives me new insights into people.
Answer as many as you like...

1. Salty or sweet?
2. Coke or Pepsi?
3. Decaf or double shot?
4. Early riser or night owl?
5. Clinton or Obama?
6. Thompson or ???
7. Italian or Chinese food?
8. Vanilla or Chocolate?
9.Favorite kind of date night?

Photo Update

This is Diego our new "dorkie" pupppy. It is a yorkie, doxon mix and Spencer's first pet. Seriously, what were we thinking. He is pretty cute I have to say. Disney our prissy but lovely cat is certain that life as she knows it is over forever. And, yes she is correct!

Photo Update

Michaela all set in her uniform for the first day of 6th grade at Ascension Academy. What an awesome school!