It has cracked me up that ever since I promised to write something funny I have had an absolute block. Nothing. Which goes to prove the point of the previous post....:-)
For those of you who know me, you already realize that this has led to hours of self reflection. Several months ago I was in a discussion with some friends that revealed things about myself that I did not know to be true. I have always viewed myself as a funny person. I am extroverted and usually a little inappropriate. I love people and laugh a lot. The logical conclusion in my head was that others would describe me as a fun person. However, I was asked to speak at an event and the organizer was a little concerned that I would not understand the light-hearted vibe of the evening. She was hesitant because I tend to be "heavy." Hmmmm...
I was really shocked by it and so was retelling the story to one of my elders over lunch one day and he cracked a huge smile. That led to more conversation in which he said that he would describe me as "intense." Now factor in the teasing over the snooze inducing blog post and my friend Jennifer telling me that I "ask questions with vigor" and you can see the self analysis crisis that is beginning to brew in my head.
How do people see me? Am I not fun? Am I too intense? Do I scare people? Do I drain them? Yikes.....I started thinking about my friends and the kind of people I am easily drawn to and yep, they tend to be the intense ones too. I started thinking about my favorite conversations and yep, they are the intense ones. I thought about the favorites parts of marriage, and yep one of them is the time we spend discussing the intense stuff. It seems to make sense that given the choice between hanging out with friends talking versus playing a card game, I will picking talking every time. It helps make sense of the fact that spending 2 hours in a movie theatre as a date holds little appeal to me versus conversation or something more engaging relationally. It makes sense that my favorite genre of TV is reality because I am so intrigued by the way the people behave and I can interact with it. It makes sense that being back in school has been my sanity because I can be as bookish or geeky as I need to be and it makes complete sense given the context.
And so I proudly declare today that I am fully embracing my intense self and am mourning the fictional version of myself that I thought was true. Seriously.