Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Do I trust Jesus

Larry James' post that I mentioned the other day has me thinking. Spending last year in the book of Mark has had me thinking. This year focusing on Discipleship has me thinking. In fact it has moved way past thinking. God is doing something in me and it is good.

But one of the fundamental questions that I am left with is, "do I trust Jesus?" Do I trust that his way, his life and his instructions are really the best for me. Am I able to read the Sermon on the Mount and know without a doubt that this is the way to life...the road to being fully alive in Christ. Or, am I able to hide my inability to really believe behind busy churchiness, or an attitude of arrogance based on the fact that it is 2007 and life is different now.

I have often wondered about the prayer, "help my unbelief." Seldom have I defined myself as one who "needed" to pray such a prayer. I can look over my life and see my unswerving faith through hard life transitions: death, cancer, overseas move, financial instability. And I have always been honest about the times when the whole "God and church" thing has just seemed too much of a stretch for my mind. I have confessed that kind of doubt and have sought out counsel from my spiritual community to reaffirm my beliefs.

But this is not about that. Most of the time in life I have discovered that, "this is not about that." This has less to do with believing in God and more to do with believing God. God is slowly showing me things about myself and bringing light to my heart and truth is being revealed.

Situations aside, regardless of circumstances, understanding the complexity of people, and considering the life of ministry and just life itself...
I want to be the person who believes it really is better to:
turn away from pride
bury arrogance
be a peacemaker
live out of a heart of compassion
seek purity with vigilence
hunger and thirst for God alone
endure hardships for the sake of the Kingdom
lay aside resentment and anger against others
seek good for all people
treat people with kindness and grace
be extravagantly generous
offer love and hospitality to those who can not return the favor
allow God to be the audience of good deeds, not people
prayer in silence aswell as with words
remain still long enough for God to speak
live a life of spiritual disciplines
allow the fruit of a life of disciplines to speak, not the act of the discipline itself
value and honor people not things
celebrate blessings by sharing
live daily for the Kingdom
differentiate between need and want
direct all my resources toward living for Jesus and not an earthly secure future
have the eyes of Jesus to see the best in people
not judge another unless I am willing to be scrutinized in the same way
seek God in everything
expect Him to answer and draw me in
abdicate from image control
allow the fruit of my life to witness to Christ
seek wisdom and discernment

What a journey!

9 comments:

Scott said...

If your list were a drink, I think it would be a Big Gulp. How's that for some sophisticated theological analysis? Sounds like a list of how you translate "Love the Lord your God...and love your neighbor..."

Arlene Kasselman said...

I like the big gulp language, just my speed. And, Scott I do think it is a way of saying "Love the Lord your God...and love your neighbor."
However, I think I let myself off the hook when I don't play out the scenarios of how that looks.
Glad you have sign in info again.
Are you still so crazy busy at work?

Scott said...

Yes. I'm at the office now. If the bond market and stock market keep going nuts, it will slack off. Getting past the Emmaus weekend will help also.

Couldn't see the video on the prior post. Too bad--sounds like a classic.

I'm not sure how playing out the scenarios works. In theory, as my heart continually transforms into a closer image of Him, then it becomes second nature and I don't have to think about it. Since I have to think about it all the time, I obviously am not transformed. In practice for me, it's a discipline or way of thinking--what does faithfulness look like in this situation? Not knowing the answer usually isn't the problem. Remembering to ask the question is generally the issue.

Arlene Kasselman said...

Yes, I like the way you say that. I agree completely. The challenge for me was literally going through the sermon on the mount and asking myself the question, "do I believe that what Jesus says is the best way to live my life?"
I am not suggesting that we have to play out scenarios in every situation of real living and then respond in a contrived manner. Playing out the scenarios was important to me here because I find myself saying, "yes, I believe what Jesus says" and then acting in ways that sometimes look more like the world. I think that transformation will shape us in such a way that our responses will flow out of a heart and mind that see with the eyes of Christ.
The point of that list for me was a way to evaluate what Jesus proposes in the Sermon on the Mount and ask myself if I really believe each of those things is a better way to live.

Scott said...

Understand. Now I just want to see the video. Guess you'll have to bring it the next trip.

Arlene Kasselman said...

You can go on YouTube and search for Evil Choir Girl.

Scott said...

acWorked on Vickie's computer, for whatever reason. I hope you & David realize that when it comes time for her to pick your nursing home, you just moved yourself down a few notches in quality.

Scott said...

Computer is playing weird games. I have no idea how the "ac" got at the front of the message. But then, I can't explain why my cell phone was dialing numbers all by itself this evening either.

Arlene Kasselman said...

Okay, phones dialing numbers on their own is where I draw the line. Run, don't walk.